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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27713282">There's a strength in letting go</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mandzilkos/pseuds/mandzilkos'>mandzilkos</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>One way ticket [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Formula 1 RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Criminals, Angst with a Happy Ending, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Major Character Injury, guns are mentioned</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:34:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>33,458</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27713282</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mandzilkos/pseuds/mandzilkos</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“I don’t think Michael’s very comfortable with George being an ex-cop,” Daniel said.</p><p>“Why?” Pierre asked. “How’d you know?”</p><p>“He doesn’t seem very comfortable when I mention George. And have you noticed that every time George might pop by, he gets a little jumpy?”</p><p>“Maybe he’s on our side of the law, too, that’s why he doesn’t want anything to do with cops or ex-cops,” Lando chimed in.</p><p>“George is an ex-cop who joined a gang. You can’t get any more our side of the law than that,” Pierre pointed out.</p><p>“Michael doesn’t know we’re in a gang,” Daniel said.</p><p>“I’m just saying. We don’t know a lot about him, Dan. Be careful."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Michael Italiano/Daniel Ricciardo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>One way ticket [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1989478</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>57</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>There's a strength in letting go</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/morisco/gifts">morisco</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/hedgehogfrog/gifts">hedgehogfrog</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my favourite au ever, so I'm not sorry for taking it this far, and I can't promise this is the last one :^) This part does refer heavily to the previous parts though, so I hope you can read them first. But if you don't want to, here are just some points: the characters are in a gang called Andromeda and their rival gang is headed by Esteban. This story is set in a fictional city called Rosehurst in the USA.</p><p>I've added one spoiler for part 1 at the bottom of this note to help you understand better (please skip it if you're planning to read parts 1 and 2).</p><p>Thank you all for all your support and as always, kudos and comments are very appreciated! I can also be found on tumblr at olivertorres.</p><p> </p><p>---spoiler below---<br/>- Max killed Lance and had to escape. Charles followed him.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Rosehurst was never the same once Max had left, but Daniel had to admit that at least being part of Andromeda gave him something to look forward to. Besides, it came with a lot more new friends, and Daniel never said no to those. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their little sub-group became a bit more dispersed when Alex got together with George, but Daniel still enjoyed spending time with them. He did feel for Pierre, though, the poor boy looking increasingly lonely as Alex went out gallivanting with his new boyfriend, so he and Lando brought Pierre along for dinner sometimes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you guys wanna go to the gym with me?" he asked them one time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The gym?" It sounded like a foreign concept to Lando. “Why would we?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just for fun.” Pierre jabbed his straw into his iced tea. “It gets boring sometimes at home with just some dumbbells.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, thanks,” Lando said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daniel?” Pierre was peering at him now, with his best puppy eyes. “Will you come with me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel didn’t see why not. He shrugged. “Sure. I’ll go with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre looked overjoyed at that, and Daniel really couldn’t see leaving him alone as an option, so he kept his end of the bargain and followed Pierre to the gym that Saturday afternoon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you use to bring Alex down here, too?” Daniel asked him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alex?” Pierre burst into laughter. “Have you </span>
  <em>
    <span>seen </span>
  </em>
  <span>Alex? He’s like a bean pole. Never exercised in his entire life.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They settled near the weights, where Daniel helped spot Pierre for a while before Pierre made him go on the lat pulldown, and though Daniel did do the occasional workout on his own, he was starting to feel muscles in his back that he hadn’t felt before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m tired already,” Daniel whined after a half hour or so. Pierre was like a fucking machine. He did set after set, hopping from one machine to the other, with only a half-minute or so break in the middle. Daniel sat on one of the sit-up benches and watched him. “How do you even keep up with yourself?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Discipline,” Pierre huffed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you avoiding something?” Daniel asked. “Pierre. Stop and talk to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre stopped violently yanking the cable bar downwards, and let it retract with a loud metallic clank. He sat down next to Daniel and wiped his face with a towel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not,” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me the truth.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre sighed. “I just...about Alex.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah? Tell me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know...do you still remember how you felt when Max left?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel nodded. He still felt it every day, that emptiness in his heart from losing one of his best friends in the world. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s how I feel about Charles leaving,” Pierre said softly. “And Max, you know Max was a friend to me, too, right? It’s not so much the fact that they left. It’s the way they...disappeared. I know they had to, I know why they had to. But it’s just the feeling of losing them forever. Of not knowing where they are, or how they’re doing, or if they’re alive. You know, when Max left, Charles was completely broken? I saw him break more and more every single day. And I didn’t really understand it then, but now I do. Charles was...he was just my little brother. Me, and him, and Alex, we’ve known each other forever. Forever. And I just keep thinking, what if Alex ends up leaving, too? You know, because of the whole George thing, he asked me what I’d do if he left Andromeda? I wouldn’t know what to do, Dan. I’m just – I’m just so scared that he’ll disappear, too. I don’t know what I’d do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He won’t leave,” Daniel whispered. “It’s all settled now. Alex won’t leave.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre shrugged. Daniel wasn’t sure if he was tearing up or if he was just all red from his sweat. “I just keep thinking about it, that’s all. I was just...I was so angry with him about George. I was so angry that he thought he could just leave me. I know I never showed it, I know that Alex thinks I don’t have feelings, but...I do. And I can’t lose Alex. I’ve already lost Charles.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Daniel scooted over closer and slung an arm over Pierre’s shoulders. He knew it took a lot for Pierre to talk about it. Like he said, he didn’t usually show his feelings. “I get it. It’s cool.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just don’t want the same thing to happen.” Pierre’s voice was a whisper now. “You know? I don’t want either of them to make a mistake like Max did, and then having to disappear.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"They won't. You know Alex. He's very careful. And George gave up everything else to do this. You know they'll be careful like they always have."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre sighed. "Yeah. I guess. Yeah."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll be here. I'll always be here. You can trust me. I'll be your brother."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The smile on Pierre's face was one of relief and sudden exhaustion. "I trust you. You're the smartest of the lot. You won't just go around doing what your dick tells you to."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel laughed, and Pierre flicked his towel at him. "Ew, that's wet. Gross. Hey, what about those girls you meet? Anything come out of them?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not into the commitment thing." One thing about Pierre was that he was straightforward. "But I get what I need. It's cool."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Look at us, talking about girls at the gym."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre laughed, and it was Daniel's turn to feel relieved. He had never been really close to Pierre, but he knew they'd clicked instantly when they broke into the storage locker together with Lando, Max, and Charles, and he knew that Pierre needed nothing more than someone by his side, so he was willing to do anything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They worked more casually after that, Pierre looking a lot calmer after his outburst. He worked on his quads as Daniel did a few sit-ups in between chatting with him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel was hanging upside down on the bench as the man approached them, so all he saw were muscular legs suddenly stopping in front of him and Pierre. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I told you, I don't need a program," Pierre said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel sat up, all the blood rushing away from his head and making him dizzy for a second. The man standing in front of them was tall and well-built and looked like he belonged at the gym, unlike Daniel. He...honestly, he looked like a Greek god.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Does your friend need a program?" he asked Pierre. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre sighed. He gestured impatiently at the guy. "This is Michael. He's a trainer. Do you need a program, Dan?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I mean…" Daniel started, and the look of </span>
  <em>
    <span>disappointment </span>
  </em>
  <span>on Pierre’s face when he realised Daniel was actually considering it was hilarious. “I’m quite new to the whole...gym thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can help you.” Michael held out a little name card, which Daniel took. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Michael Italiano, Personal Trainer, </span>
  </em>
  <span>it read. “My name is Michael.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel shook his hand. “Daniel.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Think about it.” Michael gave Daniel a wink, then turned and returned to whatever he was doing at the other corner of the gym.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre gave a grunt of obvious displeasure. “He’s been coming over to ask me the past few times I’ve been here. I’ve already told him no. It’s annoying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s just trying to help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can train with you, you know? You don’t have to sign up with him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Daniel smiled. He watched Michael’s biceps bulge from across the gym. “Yeah. I think I’ll come with you more often.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that your head or your dick talking?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel threw Pierre’s sweaty towel at him and heard him laugh. Then he spent the rest of the day with Pierre, the both of them laughing and talking, for a moment forgetting they were both still going through the motions of the biggest loss of their lives.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe the gym was fun, after all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel went down with Pierre whenever Pierre didn’t feel like working out alone in his empty apartment. It did help Daniel pass time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael was there every time, though Pierre’s hostile vibes stopped him from approaching them too often. Daniel drifted over to him every now and then, just to see what the fuss was all about. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can train the both of you, you know," Michael told him. "Maybe I can give you guys a trial lesson. For free."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Really?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, you seem interested."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel went off to ask Pierre, who gave him that same uninterested look. "I'm used to working on my own."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"C'mon." Daniel gave him a friendly shove. "Give it a chance. We can just have him for one session and see how it goes. We can share the time."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre sighed. Daniel had a feeling he was used to being coerced into things by his friends. "Fine, I guess," he said. "Maybe just once."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.” Daniel pounced on his back as he bent over to put down his weights. “We’ll make a new friend. It’ll be nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre waved him away, and Daniel went back to Michael to see when he had a block of free time to entertain them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been trying to convince your friend to join me for weeks,” Michael said. “And you did it in like, three seconds.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What can I say?” Daniel grinned. “He just likes me. Everyone likes me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael laughed. He finished packing up his things into his bag and hoisted it over his shoulder. “It’s hard to imagine otherwise. See you around, Daniel.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel returned to Pierre’s side and was immediately greeted with, “You’re gonna end up in bed with him by the end of our session, aren’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Daniel said defensively. “How could you say that? What do you even think of me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s the way you drool at him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up, Pierre.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I’m not judging. You can sleep with him if you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be jealous. I’ll still be your brother.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre scoffed. “Come on. Do another set of the weights. I’ll spot you,” he said, shoving Daniel towards the bench. Daniel was just like Pierre in the way he was so easily bullied into things like this, so he got down as Pierre prepared to spot him. “Besides, Dan, you know you’re gonna have to buff up if you wanna deal with him throwing you around the bed with those biceps.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pierre!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre started giggling. “You know I’m right. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>know </span>
  </em>
  <span>I’m right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up.” Daniel’s arms went wobbly with his laughter so he couldn’t even lift the weights. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Pierre said gleefully. “You said you’re my brother. You’re gonna have to deal with all of this now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel rolled his eyes. He really didn’t have any other choice, but since he’d joined Andromeda, Pierre had been nothing but supportive towards him, so he wasn’t going to complain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They met up with Michael at the gym again the following week for their trial session. He looked...fitter than usual in his black t-shirt, and he didn’t speak to Pierre and Daniel like he was better than them, although he very obviously was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre still didn’t seem very welcoming towards him joining their training session, but he did allow Michael to correct his posture a few times. Throughout the afternoon he even started interacting with Michael more, asking him questions and allowing Michael to teach him the different sets of muscles he should work on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about me?” Daniel asked, sitting on the sit-up bench again waiting for Michael to get back to him. “I feel neglected.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go to him, please.” Pierre sounded like he was just tired of both Daniel and Michael. “You don’t want to hear about neglected Daniel.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael seemed to be more comfortable guiding Daniel than he did Pierre. He held Daniel’s shoulders firmly as Daniel did the pulldown bar. His fingers were gentle around Daniel’s ankles as Daniel struggled with some sit-ups. His palms lingered on Daniel’s arms as he set him up for another round at the weights. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel found himself sweating for more reasons than one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need to work on your posture,” Michael told him. “Your form’s all off. You could hurt yourself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe you could help me with that.” The moment those words came out of his mouth, Daniel felt like he regretted them. He felt himself turn even redder under his sweat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael’s eyebrows almost shot up to the sky. “So you’re taking up my offer?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t say that. Maybe you could offer a few more free sessions. I’d take that up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm.” Michael chuckled. “I’ll think about it. Hey, do you wanna go for dinner?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, you’re trying to charm me into it now, huh?” Daniel laughed. “Do you usually go for dinner with all your clients?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t know me,” Michael said, then went over to ask Pierre out to join them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre took </span>
  <em>
    <span>one</span>
  </em>
  <span> look at Daniel and said, “No, thanks. You two can go ahead.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He continued looking at Daniel with this smug look on his face as Michael turned away to pack his things, then raised his fingers to do an obscene suggestive gesture at Daniel. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, fuck you," Daniel whispered, only for him to hear. He threw the bunch of wet towels they'd accumulated at Pierre, then flipped him off, but Pierre only giggled gleefully at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fortunately, Michael didn't seem to suspect anything. He headed out with Daniel, down the street to where the cafes and restaurants were. They'd passed the first traffic junction by the gym when Michael said, "I live along the next block. Mind if I pop upstairs to put my stuff down?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sure."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I have some energy drinks. We can go up together."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel might've only known him a week or two, but Michael having an apartment practically next to the gym seemed so...in character of him. It was a studio apartment on the third floor of the building, with a gridded glass window that lined one entire wall. It was right in the middle of winter, so the early night was already hitting them, but Daniel imagined it looked stunning with natural light in the day. The bed was shoved into a corner at an angle near the window, and there was even space for a little mini gym at the side, with yoga balls, weights, and a few resistance bands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael took two bottles of Gatorade from the refrigerator and handed one to Daniel. They stood leaning on the kitchen island as they gulped down their drinks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So how long have you been a trainer?" Daniel asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's been a few months since I started at the gym. But I've always trained by myself."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Cool." Daniel set his half-empty bottle on the counter. He tried his hardest not to let his eyes wander so openly. "You're very fit."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's the way I'm built. Not everyone has the same body type." Michael took a step towards Daniel and placed his hands on Daniel's biceps. Unlike Daniel, he was confident in letting his eyes travel over Daniel's body. "You're a leaner type. But that's good. We can work with that."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Your hands are very strong," Daniel whispered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah?" Michael's voice was only a whisper, too. Daniel wasn't sure if he was imagining things, but he felt Michael just pull him slightly closer, so he had to tilt his head back a bit to continue holding Michael's gaze. "And?"</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And I'd like you to ruin me with them. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Daniel swallowed the thought. Instead, he grasped a fistful of the collar of Michael's shirt, yanked him forward, and keened upwards so he could press his lips on Michael's, which were parted mid-gasp. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael responded almost immediately, his hands moving downwards and pulling Daniel’s waist towards his own. His hands could probably encircle Daniel’s entire fucking waist. He turned and pressed Daniel against the kitchen counter, then grabbed a handful of Daniel's hair and tilted Daniel's head further up towards him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What do you want?" he asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"For you to wreck me," Daniel breathed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It felt like Michael was inhaling all of Daniel as he kissed him again. He struggled to keep up with Michael as Michael lifted him slightly off the ground, pulling Daniel’s thighs around his waist and dragging him in the direction of the bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Daniel muttered as Michael pinned him down on the bed, his tongue and teeth working on the side of Daniel’s neck. “Michael. You’re so fucking hot, has anyone ever told you that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite the day at the gym, Michael’s breath was fresh as he chuckled, his lips finding Daniel’s again. “Mm,” he murmured.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel let him dictate everything, he let Michael move him and trap him against the bed, and he let Michael kiss him and drag him and grasp any part of Daniel’s body he could find. Michael was – he was just as fit as he fucking looked, and every part of Daniel’s body his fingers curled around felt like it could easily crumble into pieces, but Daniel was addicted to the feeling. He shoved Daniel about the bed like Daniel was merely one of his stupid resistance bands being kicked out of the way. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>controlled </span>
  </em>
  <span>Daniel, his fingers so gentle but his grasp so firm. He greedily gobbled up all of Daniel’s gasps, all his sighs and his moans, as if he just </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew </span>
  </em>
  <span>what Daniel wanted, what Daniel needed when he’d said he wanted Michael to ruin him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He really did. He really did ruin Daniel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Honestly, the workout Michael had put him through earlier that day couldn’t compare to what happened that evening in that bed right next to the gloomy evening out the window. Daniel was...he was completely spent. He just lay there uselessly, trying to catch his breath to no avail, attempting to blink away the white spots in his eyes, as Michael muttered incoherently into his shoulder, his body still twitching against Daniel’s.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel still couldn’t breathe properly after Michael had rolled off him with a sigh. He sprawled out, his hand slapping Michael in the chest and making Michael grunt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh my god, he had really only known this man </span>
  <em>
    <span>ten days</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And spoken barely ten sentences to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck me,” Daniel muttered at the ceiling. “Pierre was right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm?” Michael sounded a little drowsy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing.” Daniel shook his head. He turned to Michael, and Michael just looked completely comfortable sunken into his sheets. “I guess we should get that dinner we were talking about? Should we order some pizza or something?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Too many carbs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you think we’ve burnt off enough?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael laughed, then sighed again. “Fair point. Fine, we can have pizza.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He let Daniel pick the toppings for the pizza, which made sense once Daniel figured out he was only going to eat one slice and then rummage in his refrigerator to put a salad together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So do you think it’s ethical to have sexual relationships with your clients?” Daniel asked him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not my client,” Michael said, without looking up from his salad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yet,” Daniel reminded him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael laughed. “Okay, future client then. I mean, as long as it’s consensual, I think it’ll be fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think it’s unethical to seduce me into being your client.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael looked like he wanted to point out that Daniel was the one who threw himself at Michael, but then decided to concentrate on his salad instead. “Don’t be my client then,” he said, totally casually. “But maybe we can do this more often.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was Daniel’s turn to burst into laughter. “Oh my god. Priorities, Michael.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel finished the rest of the pizza by himself and Michael didn’t even try to stop him, like he was almost giving up on getting Daniel as his client. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to stay the night?” Michael asked after the food was wiped out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It really was hard to choose between Daniel’s own comfortable bed and getting fucked hard into Michael’s mattress again, but Daniel eventually chose the former.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He lived close to where Charles used to live, and usually saw Charles walking forlornly down the street below his apartment when he went to revisit the places he used to go with Max. This time, it was Pierre hanging out his window, whistling at Daniel when he walked by. Alex was by his side, an amused look on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you guys fuck?” Pierre called into the street.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel flipped him off again. “None of your business.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s a yes.” Pierre nudged Alex in the shoulder. “That’s a yes, Dan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m never going to the gym with you again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why? Because now you’re fucking your personal trainer, you don’t need me anymore?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bye, Pierre.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre disappeared back into his apartment after a few more hoots at Daniel as he turned the corner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel headed straight to bed and just lay there, wondering if the soreness in his thighs came from the gym or what happened after.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Michael stopped trying to include Pierre in their gym sessions from that day onwards. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel still worked out with Pierre, because that was what he'd promised Pierre, but from the corner of his eye he watched Michael work out with his other clients. And then after their session usually ended, he'd make the short trip to Michael's apartment down the road and get his fill of Michael.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You can just go join him if you want, you know," Pierre said once, after a couple more weeks of Daniel drooling over Michael from afar. "I can work out alone."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I taste so much salt it's like I'm at the seaside," Daniel told him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre rolled his eyes. "I mean it. You can go."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I won't. I'll even go to dinner with you today, because I'm your brother and I wanna hang out with you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre tutted, though the look on his face softened as he put his dumbbells down. “Okay,” he said. “What do you wanna have? And is Michael coming with us?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just the two of us. You have all my attention.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Besides, it wasn’t like Michael could ever turn Daniel away anyway, each time Daniel randomly appeared at his door with his clothes practically already off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel went out for ramen with Pierre. Pierre seemed...a little happier, a little lighter since he’d ranted to Daniel that other time. He seemed grateful to have Daniel with him, and Daniel honestly couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what’s the thing between you and Michael?” Pierre asked as they strolled home together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re just friends,” Daniel said. “I mean, I’m not sure if we’re friends.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘friends’</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Pierre said, with air quotes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel laughed. “Yeah, that. I mean, fuck, Pierre. He’s just...so good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No details, please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They continued walking down the emptying street, cars splashing in the puddles next to them as the office crowd returned home. Daniel pulled his jacket more tightly around himself as the wind became chillier. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daniel.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just...don’t get too attached, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just...don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t – I don’t want to lose you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If Daniel hadn’t known Pierre as well as he did, he would’ve thought Pierre was only overreacting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wrapped an arm over Pierre’s shoulders and squeezed him in a tight hug. “You’re my favourite, Pear bear.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre laughed and Daniel knew everything was okay. “Don’t be gross. C’mon. Your apartment’s down here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pierre. I think I won't sign up with Michael. If that’s okay with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure.” Pierre shrugged. “That’s cool. Then you guys can still be 'friends'.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll still go down to the gym with you. And we’ll always get to hang out. Just you and me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre smiled. He gave Daniel a wave and turned to continue walking home. “See you, Dan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel took a quick shower, then lay in bed staring at the ceiling, wondering if he should be the first to text Michael again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before he could make up his mind, his phone started buzzing with a text. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>&lt; Can I come over? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel replied Michael with his address, then just lay in bed waiting for the knock on his door, shaking his head at how easy it was for him to drop all his principles when it came to him and Michael in bed together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Do you sleep with your other clients, too?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael turned from where he was stirring the minestrone soup in the pot – Daniel had interrupted him while he was making dinner – and just stared at Daniel. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” he said, like Daniel should’ve known that already. “What, you think I just go around collecting fuck buddies?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel smirked at him. “Yeah, then I’ll conquer them all by being your best fuck buddy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael shook his head. “You’re horrible.” He licked the wooden spoon he was holding – Daniel sucked in a breath through his teeth knowing Michael was doing it on fucking purpose – and set it down on the lid of the pot. “So, you wanna fuck it out first, or what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel had a meeting with Andromeda right afterwards, so they went straight into it. Michael seemed particularly laid-back that evening, letting Daniel do all the work. He sighed as Daniel settled on top of him, riding him gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re getting more muscular,” Michael mumbled as Daniel traced his jugular with his tongue. His hands grasped Daniel’s sides tightly, guiding his hips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Looks like you not being my trainer is good for me,” Daniel whispered. He moved his hips in a circle, and it sent Michael into fits.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck,” he said, emphasizing on the end of the word. Daniel wasn’t sure what it was in response to, Daniel’s wit or the way he was moving. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Feels good?” Daniel traced the words on Michael’s jaw. He rarely got to be in control over Michael this way. It was usually the other way around. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm.” It was all the sound Michael managed to give before his hips started sputtering and he lifted Daniel off him without any effort at all. “Oh, fuck. Fuck,” he muttered as Daniel jerked out the rest of his orgasm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel fucked Michael’s face for the rest of it, then just collapsed on him, exhausted. Michael could take three times his weight, anyway. “Hmm,” he said, although he had nothing else to say. It was just as well, because Michael didn’t respond, and the two of them lay there for the longest time, trying to catch their breaths.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you staying for dinner?” Michael sounded sleepy again, the way he got after sex.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m meeting some friends.” Daniel groaned as he tried to get up. He washed himself off in the bathroom, then put his clothes back on, hoping he wouldn’t stink up the whole bar backroom with the smell of sex. “Hey. I gotta go. Thanks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm. Think I’m gonna take a nap before dinner.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to tuck you in?” Daniel draped the sheets over Michael, then tucked the sides under him. “Hmm? Want a little goodnight kiss?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck off.” Michael lazily swatted Daniel off like a fly as Daniel leaned in to kiss him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on.” Daniel puckered his lips. “Kiss.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael tutted, but obliged, pecking Daniel quickly on the lips before turning away and curling up on his side, pulling the sheets more tightly around himself. “Bye,” he murmured.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He really could be utterly adorable sometimes. Daniel had no words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone was already at the bar by the time Daniel arrived, even though he was a few minutes early. No one seemed to mind that he was the latest, except Alex, who wiggled his eyebrows at Daniel, and Pierre, who did that same obscene gesture. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, like you guys don’t enjoy sex,” Daniel muttered, only for the two of them to hear, but even then he couldn’t stop smiling to himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>&lt; Why aren't you at the gym today? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel couldn't help but roll his eyes at the message. Sure, he and Pierre usually made it down on Tuesdays and Fridays, but surely there was no need for Michael to text Daniel after he'd missed </span>
  <em>
    <span>one </span>
  </em>
  <span>Friday session. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>&gt; Getting a little attached, aren't we?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>&lt; Just wondering where you are. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Who you textin'?" Lando asked in a singsong voice. Daniel covered his phone before Lando could peek at it. "You're fucking smiling to yourself, Dan."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's Michael," Pierre deadpanned. "It's because we aren't at the gym today, isn't it?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shut up, Pierre."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You shut up." Pierre threw a balled-up piece of paper at Daniel, and Daniel barely managed to dodge it. "Pay attention to Alex."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, pay attention to Alex," George chimed in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Who allowed them to be this disgusting?" Daniel whispered, eyeing George and Alex, who seemed to be using the fact that Alex was trying to brief everyone as an excuse to huddle together with him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey." Lando nudged him in the shoulder. "When can I meet Michael?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why do you want to meet him? He's just someone I fuck."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He seems like a cool person."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He's pretty cool," Pierre said. Daniel hadn't been expecting Pierre to dish out any compliments about Michael, so he turned to him in surprise. "What? He </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>pretty cool. Except for the fact that he keeps coming over to annoy me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll ask him if he wants to have dinner with us," Daniel said. "He doesn't know about Andromeda."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I sure hope he doesn't," Alex called. "Will you guys pay attention?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We know who we aren't inviting to dinner," Daniel whispered conspiratorially, making Lando and Pierre snicker and Alex glare over at them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel honestly didn't know what he'd be doing if he didn't have them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He did end up hooking up with Michael that night after they'd all had dinner and dispersed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael still smelled like the gym when Daniel met him at the door of his apartment. They were in the thick of the mild Rosehurst winter, and the trees outside his window rustled in the strong breeze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They didn't speak, using their bodies to communicate whatever they needed to each other. Michael used his chest to push Daniel towards the bed as he hurriedly pulled Daniel's jeans off, then used his entire body to press Daniel into the mattress the way Daniel liked. His hands were strong and determined and Daniel just knew they would leave bruises on his ribs. The way he dictated every time they were together never failed to amaze Daniel. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The trees thumped hard against the window as it started to rain outside, so Daniel knew he'd  be spending the night at Michael's. And it may have been the weather or something, but Michael was being extremely mild and soft that night, nuzzling into Daniel's neck as he tried to stop shaking from his orgasm. Daniel stroked his back gently, making him shudder. Michael's weight on him was noticeably heavy and comfortable at the same time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Michael," Daniel murmured, half afraid that Michael was drifting off to sleep again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you wanna go out to dinner with my friends?" Daniel asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Your friends?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mhm. They wanna meet you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael gave this. This incredulous laugh. His body was slick with sweat and come as it moved against Daniel’s. "Why?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't know. It's cool if you don't want to. I mean, it's not like we're…a real couple or anything."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll go. It'll be nice."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay," Daniel said. "I'll let them know."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael sighed, but it sounded like a happy sigh. He flopped over onto his back, freeing Daniel from his weight and his sweat. "Have you known your friends for a long time?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mm. Yeah. Most of them." Sometimes, Daniel couldn't believe he'd already known Pierre and Alex for over a year. "We have a new one in our group. Alex's boyfriend, George."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, cool."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He used to be a cop. I don't know if you've seen him on the news. He was a detective. George Russell? He's not a cop anymore, though."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh," Michael said again. He fidgeted nervously. "Yeah, I know who he is. Will he come for dinner?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't know yet."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It must be really nice," Michael said. "To have so many close friends."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel smiled. "It's nice, yeah."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I've never really had a lot of friends." Michael's voice had lowered a few decibels. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Having friends isn't a gauge of anything," Daniel told him. "It isn't a gauge of how good you are. Maybe you just survive better alone. Some of us are like that." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel wasn't like that, but he could understand someone else being it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Daniel."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hmm?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think…” Michael paused to swallow, like he didn’t really know how to speak the words. “This thing between us, do you think it’ll stop anytime soon?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel shrugged. “Maybe if either of us gets into a relationship.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael turned in bed so he was facing Daniel. He pulled his sheets over his arm, like he was getting cold. “Do you see yourself getting into one soon?” he asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know. I haven’t met anyone recently.” Daniel hadn't been in Andromeda before it was split up into smaller gangs, but he knew that betrayal was still a big thing. It did seem easier now to have a relationship outside of Andromeda if he only had to worry about a smaller group of them being discovered instead of the whole gang, though. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm. Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like...I like what we have,” Daniel ventured.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael smiled. “Me, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel wanted to ask Michael if </span>
  <em>
    <span>he’d</span>
  </em>
  <span> met anyone recently, but decided against it. Instead, he just lay there, feeling Michael's eyes on him as he stared at the ceiling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It felt like Michael had more to say, but he had never been a man of many words, anyway. Except when he was teasing Daniel. Either way, he was quiet, save for making the pillowcase rustle by fiddling with the edge of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I was in love once," Daniel said softly. "With a friend."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah?" Michael asked curiously, propping his head up on his elbow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mhm. But we were never meant to be. We were too different."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's cool," Daniel said. "We dated for a while. For a few months, when we were much younger. But we both knew it was going nowhere. And we're still great friends. I mean, we were. Up until he left. We were the best of friends up until he left. I like to think if he were still here, we'd still be the best of friends, together with Lando."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why'd he leave?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's complicated." It wasn't like Daniel could outright talk about Lance Stroll's murderer. "But Max was always wild. His heart was always wild and free. He would never have stayed in Rosehurst anyway. That's what's so different about the two of us. He always wanted to be free, and he'd stop for no one and he'd stay for no one. I'm not like that. This city might be shitty but all my friends are here. That's why we couldn't be together. We were just different. We both knew that." Daniel paused to sigh, and when he turned in bed towards Michael, Michael was looking at him wistfully. "But I know he's happier now. He's found the person he could run with. And I know Charles makes him happier than I could ever. So that's...that's everything to me. He's happy now, I know it. And I miss him, but...he's happy now."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you talking about…" Michael's eyes searched Daniel's face for a moment before he continued, "Max and Charles, the...fugitives? Verstappen and Leclerc?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel sighed again. It was hard to avoid the topic. It was on the news so frequently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's hard for me to talk about it," Daniel whispered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's okay," Michael said. He stretched his arms towards Daniel, as if he could tell that Daniel was about to cry. "Hey. It's okay. Come here."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His arms were so strong around Daniel, it was easy for Daniel to just melt into them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sometimes I think it'd be easier for me if I knew where he went, you know?" Daniel spoke into Michael's neck. "I wouldn't go find him because I know that's not what he wants. But just...just to know he's alive. He's my best mate."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You really don't know where he went?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not at all. He didn't want to incriminate any of us when he left."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He's probably just really far away from here then, huh?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah. It's been more than a year. And then a few months for Charles."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You'll deal with it okay, yeah?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mhm. I’m coming to terms with it. Lando is...I know Lando's struggling with it, too. We all are. Pierre and Alex are struggling, too. You don't just...it doesn't just go away, if someone you've known since you were kids just disappears like they've died. I just...I'm so glad that I have them. They make me feel better. They're my bestest friends. They're all like my family."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael obviously didn't know who the fuck any of these people were except Pierre, but his grasp tightened around Daniel. "I'll be your friend, too, if you need another one."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel chuckled. He would never say no to a new friend. "I could do with a friend who fucks me well."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hmm."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay, I could do with a friend in general."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael seemed pleased about that. He gently pulled Daniel's face out of his neck only to plant the softest kiss on his lips, softer than any before, as if it held something more than just the raw physical desire and lust they usually felt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good night, Dan."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Night," Daniel whispered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That night, Daniel slept in Michael's arms for the first time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex was practically stuck to George by that point, so they decided to have dinner without the two of them. They gathered at Daniel’s house that Saturday night, where Daniel and Pierre made some fried noodles and chicken and they brought it to the coffee table to have with Michael and Lando.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alex isn’t joining us?” Michael asked as Daniel passed him a plate. “I’ve heard a lot about Alex.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s hanging out with George,” Pierre said. “We’ll just call him the next time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm,” Michael mumbled, then turned his attention to scooping his share of the noodles, though he looked a little bit more tense again at the mention of George.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Michael, tell us what you usually do,” Lando said, seating himself down next to Michael as Pierre settled in the lone armchair. “Besides work out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m at the gym most of the time since I started,” Michael said. “Nothing much other than that. It’s my hobby and I’m lucky it’s also my job.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What did you use to do before you became a personal trainer?" Pierre asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just a normal office job." Michael seemed uncomfortable talking about himself. “What do you guys do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We work together at a bar. Night shifts,” Pierre said before anyone could interject. “In the day we all do our own thing.” Pierre paused when his phone buzzed, and he grabbed it from the table to check it. “Oh, Alex is coming.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“With George?” Michael’s voice seemed a pitch higher. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, George is on a call with his family back in Newford.” Pierre put his phone back down. “It’s just Alex.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alex appeared at the door about twenty minutes later, and immediately sat down and helped himself to the food. “Hey, Michael,” he only said after a while.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Michael said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nice to finally meet you. Daniel and Pierre talk a lot about you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Michael smiled, but only at Daniel, and not at Pierre. “Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They ate their food silently with the TV playing in the background, and everyone but Alex was almost done when Michael suddenly asked, “So I heard that you guys knew Max Verstappen?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre gave Daniel a suspicious glance, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>God</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Pierre could be so scary when he did that, but he did reply, “Yeah, we did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright.” Michael’s eyes were earnest, like he knew he’d probably overstepped a line and was trying to make up for it. “That’s cool. I just thought that his case was interesting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, you think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhm. I thought it didn’t make a lot of sense that he just let himself be identified like that. I thought it might’ve been someone framing him, or an accident.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was an accident.” Lando’s voice was small, but he spoke before anyone could stop him. “Max had...he had a deal to steal Lance’s car. Lance caught him that night and Max did it on reflex.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone was silent for a while as they contemplated the effect of Lando telling Michael all of that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But after all their experiences and near brushes with betrayal but everything turning out fine in the end, they seemed to have come out of it more flexible, more welcoming, and more willing to talk about what had happened that night with Max, knowing that there would probably be little to no consequences.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The case hadn’t been completely dropped, but since George had quit, it appeared to be hanging in the air, with no solid team to take care of it. No one in the police department seemed as competent as George had been, anyway. That probably made them a lot more relaxed, even though no one talked about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Besides, Michael appeared innocent enough, and he did seem to have enough empathy towards Max.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We didn’t help him escape,” Pierre finally added. “If that’s what you’re wondering.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael shook his head. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone. I think it’s...it’s pretty sad how it went. That he had to leave. Especially since it was just an accident.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's even sadder if you'd known Max," Lando said in a whisper. "Max was the kindest, softest person. He wouldn't have hurt anyone if he had a choice. He's the last person in the world you'd expect this to happen to. It's just...it's what made this whole thing so hard to deal with."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alex nodded. “Yeah, and we...we’ll never really know if Charles did find him, will we? But…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think he has,” Pierre said. “I choose to believe that. That they’re happy now, together. I don’t want to believe anything else.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Have you guys ever tried to look for them?" MIchael asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre and Alex shook their heads. "I mean, it's still weird that they're gone, but…" Alex shrugged. "Right after Charles left, all we cared about was that it was what he wanted. And it didn't feel right to go after him. So...so we left it. And now it is what it is. It's too late."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I did try to look for Max." Lando's voice was soft. "I never told you guys. He had an old fake ID and name he used sometimes. I tracked it until it went off the radar suddenly."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was Daniel's first time hearing about all of this, but he understood why Lando would've kept it a secret. It probably overwhelmed him too much to talk about it. And he probably never even dared to tell anyone, since the case had been so active in the beginning. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Where did he go?" Daniel asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He just went around the state." Lando stared into his empty bowl. "Then towards the south. He hopped a few states, got to the border with Mexico, and then he probably got a new fake passport or whatever, because he disappeared. Took him about a month and a half. It was quick."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone was quiet then, none of them even inflicting any sort of blame on Lando for not telling them earlier. Daniel just...he was just so glad that he had them, that they all cared for Charles and Max the same, that they all wanted them to chase what the both of them yearned for, even though it broke their collective hearts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I just wanted to know he was okay," Lando whispered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's cool." Pierre smiled at him. "He's okay. They're okay. I know it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Michael probably thinks we're a bunch of sappy idiots."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael shook his head, and smiled encouragingly at Lando. “So how’d you guys meet?” he asked, gesturing at the four of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve known Lando for years. We met in one of those game cafes when they were still a thing. When we were kids. Lando knew Max from school and we used to always hang out after school.” Daniel set his glass down. “Pierre and Alex are Charles’s friends. We met them when Max met Charles.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you guys are kinda like the in-laws, then?” Michael said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre laughed so loudly at that, it was almost embarrassing. “I’ve never seen it that way,” he said. “Yeah. We’re in-laws. That’s so funny.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The mood seemed to have returned to normal, and Daniel couldn't help but bump his shoulder against Michael's as a silent thank you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you guys do when you hang out?” Michael leaned over the table curiously. “Besides going to the gym, of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The four of them exchanged a glance that Daniel hoped Michael couldn’t see.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lando and Alex like doing weird stuff on their computers,” Pierre eventually said. “Sometimes we watch them. Also we watch them play video games.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alex’s just been hanging out more with George nowadays, though,” Lando said. “Hey, maybe Michael can be </span>
  <em>
    <span>my</span>
  </em>
  <span> personal trainer. Hmm. You know, just like how he’s your ‘personal trainer’.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, hands off.” Daniel smacked him on the shoulder. “Oh my god, is that why you wanted to meet him so badly? You just want to snatch him away from me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lando tutted. “Whatever. Exercise is for losers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That started an all-out argument across the table, and Daniel caught Michael’s eye across it all and mouthed a little ‘sorry.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael shook his head, and the small smile he gave Daniel was...it was so soft and grateful and Daniel had to try his hardest to ignore the fluttering in his heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Michael can hang out with us next time,” Pierre said. “To even out the workout people versus the non-workout people.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s already even,” Daniel pointed out. “It’s me and you against them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre gave him a stare-down, then narrowed his eyes. “No. You only like </span>
  <em>
    <span>working out </span>
  </em>
  <span>with </span>
  <em>
    <span>Michael.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It earned him high fives across the table while Daniel glared at him. Daniel eventually stood up and brought all their dirty dishes and glasses to the sink to wash them, smiling when he heard the ongoing commotion in the living room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael appeared behind him a few minutes later. "Hey," he said. "I'll help you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's okay, you can chill with the rest."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll help you." Michael took the sponge from Daniel. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel turned and leaned on the counter to watch him. "Sorry about them," he said. "They're a bit rowdy."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael laughed. "It's cool. I had a lot of fun."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel couldn't keep his eyes off Michael's hands as they scrubbed the plates. They were big and veiny but they were so...gentle. They looked like they danced over everything Michael touched. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Next time, I'll cook for you guys," Michael continued. "I make a mean eggplant lasagna."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Deal."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael hovered around Daniel as Daniel got some juice from the fridge and poured it out for everyone. He pulled timidly on the edge of Daniel's sleeve. "Hey, Dan."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you wanna...you wanna maybe go out for dinner some time? Just you and me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel couldn't help the grin that showed up on his face then, as he realised why Michael had just been watching him the entire night and trying so hard to get to know Daniel and his friends. He was just looking for a way to ask Daniel out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sure," Daniel said softly, gently picking Michael's hand off his sleeve and holding on to his fingers, giving them a squeeze. "Yeah, that'd be cool."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael smiled at him again, and he just – he looked beautiful. He gave Daniel a shy poke on the nose, then grabbed as many glasses as he could to bring them outside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel followed behind him holding the remaining juice, and he couldn’t help but feel this sense of overwhelming warmth that he was beginning to realise came with Michael’s presence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Michael chose a Saturday to go out for dinner with Daniel, which was unusual. They didn't usually meet on Saturdays, but he texted Daniel a few days in advance to make sure Daniel was free, then appeared at his door that evening looking exceptionally stunning in his blue button-up shirt and dark jeans. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel threw on a nice shirt to match his and then headed out with him, not exactly sure what to expect. He knew Michael had a car, but it was the first time Daniel had seen him drive it, and he drove Daniel to a nice restaurant right in the middle of town, with a cozy interior consisting of nice cushioned chairs and marble tables. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had some nice steak and lamb and some red wine, and spent the meal talking about how life had treated them over the years. Just as Daniel had guessed, Michael was only a year older than him, but while Daniel had stopped schooling after high school, Michael had a college degree in economics. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They left the car near the restaurant and took a nice walk down the nearby streets, bundled in their jackets. Michael stopped at the newsstand to get some mints before they closed for the night, and paused to scan the front page of the newspaper, where – unfortunately, were the names of Antonio, Carlos, and a couple of other girls in Andromeda, who'd recently been caught committing a robbery. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Weren't these guys just arrested a few months ago?" Michael remarked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel thanked the heavens that it wasn't Pierre who had been arrested this time. "You follow the news this closely?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael shrugged. "I just happened to remember their names."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Cool." Michael seemed like a really interesting person. Daniel was sure there were still many things about him he didn't know. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You ever heard of that gang?" Michael suddenly asked. "Andromeda or whatever."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel felt his voice get lodged in his throat. "Yeah," he managed to say. "I, uh...I knew some people in it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a long pause before Michael asked, "Max?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel couldn't help but laugh right then. "Max is the last person you'd find in that gang. He was invited, but he didn't want to join."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I just thought he'd be in it, since you guys said he was stealing cars and stuff."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nah. He wasn't."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I think these people are." Michael gestured at the newspapers as they headed away from the newsstand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mm. Maybe," Daniel said. "So what...what do you think about Andromeda?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I think they're pretty good at what they do given how they haven't been discovered yet."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You don't think they're evil? You know, the whole gang thing."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not really." Michael shrugged again. His eyes were eager and honest as they caught Daniel's gaze. "I mean, they're not exactly doing the rest of us any harm. If anything, they're hitting back against the most toxic people in this city."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel chose not to ask how Michael was so sure of Andromeda's motives. He also chose not to tell Michael </span>
  <em>
    <span>he </span>
  </em>
  <span>was part of Andromeda, contrary to what his heart was trying to get him to do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was thinking with his head and not his dick, just like Pierre trusted him to do. The thought of it brought a smile to Daniel's face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The entrance arch to the nearby park was lit up eerily under the white streetlights. There weren't too many people although it was the weekend; the cold weather probably drove more people away from the park than to it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They got themselves some hot chocolate and sat down on a bench warming themselves up with it. It was quieter than it had been at dinner, and Michael just sat there without saying anything, watching the occasional couple stroll pass them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why’d you choose today?” Daniel asked as he crumpled up his paper cup and tossed it into the bin on his first try. “We could’ve gone out yesterday after gym.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanted it to...uh, I wanted it to be different. From what we usually do.” Michael sounded nervous, and Daniel couldn’t figure out why.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How did you find dinner?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was good.” Michael was looking over earnestly as Daniel lifted his head. “Yeah, I really liked it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, good.” Michael smiled, and he looked...different than usual. He looked so much softer, but a little bit less confident, as if it was his first time being alone with Daniel. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is everything okay?" Daniel asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mhm. Yeah."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I had a really good time."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm glad." Michael's smile grew. His hand drifted towards Daniel's, resting on the seat of the bench, but stopped short of touching Daniel's. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael drove Daniel home, but seemed particularly polite about it, even getting out of his car to walk Daniel inside the building. They stopped at Daniel’s front door, where Michael turned to Daniel and smiled again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you wanna come inside?” Daniel asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael shook his head. “Thank you for coming to dinner with me, Dan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Michael,” Daniel whispered. “Was this...was this a date?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael’s eyes darted around Daniel’s face as he swallowed. “Do you want it to be?” he asked softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel nodded without even thinking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I…” Michael reached over and took Daniel’s hand, his fingers curling gently over the meat of Daniel’s palm. “I want us...I want us to be more. I want us to be for real. If you want to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Daniel could barely find his voice. Michael looked so scared and small and so beautiful under the hallway light. “I want that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Michael whispered. He stood still for a while, the nervousness in his eyes slowly fading. Then he leaned forward, letting go of Daniel’s hand so both his hands could cup the sides of Daniel’s neck as he kissed Daniel tenderly on the lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel kissed him back, trying not to let his eagerness take over. He wrapped his arms around Michael’s waist and held Michael close, tiptoeing slightly so he could reach Michael more easily. Michael kissed him like – like it was the first time, so softly and timidly, but at the same time with the familiar hunger that pulled at Daniel’s heart, that hunger that told Daniel Michael knew how he liked to be kissed, how he liked to be treated. That he just...</span>
  <em>
    <span>knew </span>
  </em>
  <span>Daniel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel was embarrassingly breathless as Michael pulled away. “I’ll see you on Tuesday?” Michael said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Or sooner?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael smiled, and Daniel. Daniel didn’t want him to go. “Yeah. Or sooner.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hugged Daniel before leaving, and Daniel held on to him for longer than he was supposed to, longer than he felt like he was allowed. He had never held Michael in this way before, never touched Michael in this way before, and now that he’d started, he didn’t want to stop. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to come inside?” Daniel asked again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael shook his head. “I think...we should leave it here. Just for tonight. Our first date.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhm. Yeah.” Daniel smiled. He knew that if they went inside, they would immediately ravage each other, and the delicateness of the night would pop like a bubble. “Okay. See you, Michael.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bye,” Michael whispered. He kissed Daniel on the forehead, then smiled as Daniel watched him get in the lift. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel took a long, cold shower to calm himself down, then got in bed only to smile at the ceiling as thoughts about Michael raced through his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Right before he fell asleep, he received a couple of texts from Michael.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>&lt; I had a really good time, too.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>&lt; Thank you 💛</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel buried his head in his pillow to squeal, then fell asleep with a smile so big he knew his cheeks were going to hurt in the morning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The other dates Michael and Daniel went on were usually just chilling at each other’s places, watching TV, going on a few hikes just outside the city, and dealing with Michael’s obsession with healthy food.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel liked that when they got in bed together now, it wasn’t just sex anymore. He loved just lying there with Michael, talking about nothing, doing nothing. He loved when Michael instinctively wrapped him up in his arms before they slept. He loved just being engulfed by Michael, by his strong arms and his scent, and feeling like nothing else existed outside whoever’s apartment they were in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lando wouldn’t stop bugging Daniel to try Michael’s eggplant lasagna once he’d heard about it, so one day after visiting Max’s uncle they headed over to Michael’s apartment together with Pierre.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael greeted them at the door, and he was wearing a thin white t-shirt and sweating a whole lot through it, which just made Daniel...want to melt on the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” he greeted the three of them, completely obliviously, pulling Daniel in first by the hand so he could peck him on the cheek. “Hi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so </span>
  <em>
    <span>hungry</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” was Lando’s greeting. “Oh, it smells so good in here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It did smell great, and the three of them gathered around the kitchen island as Michael took the lasagna out of the oven and set it on the counter to cool. He’d also prepared the salmon fillets that Daniel had requested, knowing that they were Daniel’s favourite healthy thing to eat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is Alex coming?" Michael asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Daniel told him. “It’s just the four of us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, cool.” Michael brought all the food to the island, and everyone leaned forward in anticipation. “Dan, will you hand out some plates and forks? I’ll go change my shirt and be right out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, babe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god, Daniel, you’re like a rabid dog,” Lando remarked once Michael was out of earshot. “Like, when you saw his titties through his shirt.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut the fuck up, Lando. I’m not a rabid dog.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need to control yourself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why didn't you call Alex?" Pierre asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I thought he'd bring George."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And why's that a problem?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think Michael’s very comfortable with George being an ex-cop,” Daniel said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?” Pierre asked. “How’d you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He doesn’t seem very comfortable when I mention George. And have you noticed that every time George might pop by, he gets a little jumpy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, and I remember how he was really cool about the fact that we knew Max had killed someone and we let him go,” Lando chimed in. “Maybe he’s on our side of the law, too, that’s why he doesn’t want anything to do with cops or ex-cops.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“George is an ex-cop who joined a gang. You can’t get any more our side of the law than that,” Pierre pointed out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Michael doesn’t know we’re in a gang,” Daniel said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just saying. We don’t know a lot about him, Dan. Be careful. Shh, he’s back,” Pierre said as they all straightened into their previous positions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The eggplant lasagna </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>great, and Lando had more of it than anyone else. Michael even had a nice little collection of flower teas which he brought out and let everyone choose from. He was mostly quiet otherwise, but he did look really happy seeing the three of them interact, and he held gently onto Daniel's hand under the table like it would physically pain him to let go. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're very quiet today, Michael," Lando said, like he'd remembered how curious Michael had been the last time they were together, asking fifty questions about Max. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael smiled. "I'm just happy that you guys enjoyed the food."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We really did. You’re a great cook,” Pierre said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael turned to Daniel right away, like he was delighted at the praise from Daniel’s friends. “That’s great. Thanks, guys.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They all hung out in front of the TV for a while, then Pierre and Lando poked around Michael’s little exercise corner, messing it up and making Daniel just fucking embarrassed for them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” Daniel told Michael. “They’re just like kids.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael laughed. “It’s okay. I like them around.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like you around,” Daniel said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I like </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> around." Michael poked him in the nose. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shut up."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You shut up," Michael murmured as his lips landed on Daniel's, soft and wet and tasting a bit like garlic butter salmon. He wrapped an arm around Daniel's waist and pressed him into the couch, and they were almost horizontal when they heard someone clearing their throat from across the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I think we'll go," Lando said softly. "Bye, guys. Thanks for the great meal."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We'll come over again next time when you're less horny," Pierre added. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel raised a middle finger at them as they left through the front door, but Michael didn't respond to any of that at all, instead thoroughly focusing on nibbling on the side of Daniel's neck. He just continued as if they'd been alone all this while, placing Daniel flat on the couch and climbing over him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The way Michael was with Daniel...Daniel wouldn't say he'd changed after they'd gotten together, but he was so much softer. Like he was telling Daniel that it really wasn't just a sex thing to him anymore, that Daniel wasn't just a sex object. He still knew what Daniel liked, he still knew what made Daniel moan and whine for more, but the way he did it now was more for Daniel's pleasure than his own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lando had been right, and Michael was quieter that day, but when it came to him fucking Daniel, then it was a whole other story. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel wondered how he had so much </span>
  <em>
    <span>energy</span>
  </em>
  <span>, enough to get up and do the dishes afterwards while Daniel just lied naked on the couch like an invalid. He skittered around, cleaning up the house, and even making a big mug of lavender tea for Daniel. When it got dark outside and Daniel was too lazy to get to bed, he even came over and picked Daniel off without any effort, and brought him to bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Michael," Daniel said, laying in bed facing Michael, watching as Michael blinked at the ceiling. He looked tired. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hmm?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I really, really like you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael turned his head and smiled at Daniel. There was a flicker of something in his eyes, but Daniel couldn't tell what it was. Besides, he was distracted by the way they slanted down at the sides whenever Michael looked at him so fondly like that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I really, really like you, too."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you okay? You're really quiet today."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm okay, babe." Michael kissed him on the nose again. He opened his arms for Daniel to climb into them. "Come here."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel settled in his shoulder, and even when he closed his eyes, he could still feel Michael staring at him from three inches away, and he could almost hear Michael's heart beating nervously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're really okay?" Daniel asked. Maybe Michael suspected something about them already. Maybe he knew Daniel had been lying through his teeth about Andromeda. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe it was time for Daniel to tell him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Daniel couldn't just...do it. There were too many factors. He had to talk to someone about it first. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel felt Michael's nervous gaze finally leave him as he nodded. "Thank you for letting me hang out with your friends again," he said softly. "It's really nice."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course. They all love you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I just think they're neat."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel laughed. "You can hang out with us anytime, Michael."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael held him more tightly against his chest, and. And Michael was the softest when he was almost asleep, and that had never been more prominent than that night, as he dragged Daniel atop him and sighed contentedly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You'll have to meet George one day," Daniel murmured as they were both drifting off to sleep. "You keep missing him."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael tensed up the slightest, and Daniel only noticed it because they'd both been so relaxed on the edge of sleep just a moment earlier. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mm," he mumbled into Daniel's hair. "Sure."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel passed on the chance of asking Michael if he was so averse to meeting George because he used to be a cop. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead, he just pressed himself into Michael and slept a dreamless sleep all night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Daniel only began wondering how Charles dealt with balancing his time between Andromeda and Max when it began presenting itself as a problem with Michael. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It dawned on him that Max actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew </span>
  </em>
  <span>about Andromeda, but it wasn't as if Daniel could just...tell Michael about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How do you avoid talking about all the time you spend doing Andromeda stuff?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lando looked up from where he was hanging off Daniel's armchair, scrolling lazily through his phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't have a lot of other friends," he deadpanned. "Is this about Michael?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel pressed his lips together, not really wanting to give an answer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you trust him, you can tell him about Andromeda,” Lando added.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Daniel was genuinely surprised at that suggestion. “Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It feels like he really sympathises with the whole Max situation. And he didn’t tell on us about possibly helping Max escape,” Lando said. "Oh, and I checked the police database for you. There isn't a Michael Italiano in it at all."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're sure?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm very sure. No Michael Italiano. There are many other Michaels, but no Italiano."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hmm. Okay."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Plus, you’re gonna have to give a better excuse than ‘going out for drinks’ now that he’s your boyfriend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel laughed. He really had just been rejecting Michael’s requests to hang out some nights because he had meetings with Andromeda and didn’t know how else to tell him. He guessed this really was the biggest difficulty of dating outside the gang.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you think the others will be okay with this?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Honestly, I don't think Pierre will be. But it's okay. We'll deal with him. I won't tell him until you say it's okay."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lando was Daniel's oldest, </span>
  <em>
    <span>oldest </span>
  </em>
  <span>friend, and sometimes with how busy life got, Daniel would forget to appreciate him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it was nights like those, the two of them sitting around watching a comedy on TV, that really brought Daniel back to those nostalgic, carefree days, when it was just him, Lando, and Max against the world. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel didn't really have to try too hard to find a way to tell Michael about Andromeda. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were cuddling on the sofa watching the news one night when there was a report of a heist at a car dealership, resulting in a dozen high-end sports cars being reported missing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael was particularly distracted that night, and he was still uncharacteristically quiet, but this piece of news piqued his interest slightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you think Andromeda did this?" Michael asked casually. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel knew it wasn't Andromeda, of course. It was Esteban's gang, taking over Rosehurst's automobile industry now that Max wasn't here to challenge him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, it's not them," he blurted before he could stop himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How do you know?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I…" Daniel hesitated, but save for his hand on Daniel's shoulder, Michael didn't turn to look at him. "Because I'm part of Andromeda. The gang."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael did turn to him then, and gave him a long, hard, curious stare. For how much Daniel had thought of telling Michael, he hadn't really thought about how Michael would respond. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael's eyes were still a bit hazy, like his head was someplace else. His eyes moved slowly over Daniel's face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wasn't expecting you to tell me that," he eventually said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel wondered why he worded it that way, that he didn't expect Daniel to tell him that, rather than saying he hadn't expected Daniel to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>part of Andromeda</span>
  </em>
  <span> in the first place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why?" he asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael stared at him for a while, unblinking. His mind seemed to be...really far away from the room. Daniel touched a hand to his cheek, and he smiled a small smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, I just...didn't expect that." Michael cleared his throat. "Is...are your friends also part of it?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, we all are." Daniel decided to stop talking then, before he said something he shouldn't. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's cool," Michael whispered. "I won't tell anyone."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Besides, I think it’s hot.” Michael had a little mischievous gleam in his eye. “That you’re in a gang.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” Daniel smiled, pressing his lips on Michael’s, gasping when Michael deepened the kiss. They worked at each other’s mouths for a while before Daniel pulled away. “Hmm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael kissed him on the nose. “So what do you guys usually do?” he asked. “I mean, if you want to tell me. If you can.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I only joined a few months ago, right before Charles left. I’m still getting into it,” Daniel said. “But the others take care of me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s your role?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Risk management and communications.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds really cool, Dan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, I don’t think anyone would say no if you wanted to join.” Daniel poked at Michael’s bicep. “You could be one of the frontmen. Like Pierre. You’re strong and you could knock anyone out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael laughed, and it was the gentlest sound in the world. “You think so?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I really do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t join. That’s your thing. I’ll just watch you be amazing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re okay with it? With me being in a gang?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael shrugged. “Yeah. I told you. I think Andromeda does cool things. Taking out the rich, right? I’m always up for that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you know so much about Andromeda?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael hesitated for a moment, obviously not anticipating that question from Daniel. “I’ve just been following the news a lot. And I’ve heard a lot of things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael did meet a lot of people because he had so many clients, so it made perfect sense to Daniel. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"George is our newest member," Daniel told him. "He quit his job as a police officer and joined us."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel saw Michael's throat bob as he swallowed. "That's interesting."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I guess he figured out the police department isn't all that great," Daniel laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael gave his own little chuckle, then seemed to drop the topic of George altogether, asking, "So what's your next plan?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel didn't tell him about the big drug deal they were planning that George was hugely averse to, given the past with his father. Instead, he told Michael a little bit about another heist they were planning on another businessman's money safe. That was a smaller operation, and for illegal money, so Daniel knew that if Michael really told on them and they were caught for that one, it was easy to get out of it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael listened attentively, sprawling out on the couch with Daniel all over him like a cat. He even continued listening when Daniel moved on to ramble about something else, guiding Daniel lazily to the bed and then nuzzling into his chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Michael," Daniel whispered, right before Michael fell asleep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're okay? That I'm...in a gang?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Daniel." Michael sighed sleepily. "Nothing you do will change what I feel about you. Just be careful, okay? Just be careful. That's all I care about."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael really was...perfect. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was absolutely perfect. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was kind, and beautiful, and so supportive towards Daniel and his friends, and he was so strong and he could cook so well, and Daniel – </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The kiss Daniel planted on his head was barely enough to convey the feelings he had towards Michael, but it was all Daniel could afford right then, all he could give, and he fell asleep with his heart bursting with an explicable sort of love. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Michael didn't usually like going out in the middle of the night, but when Daniel was busy for two whole weeks for the planning of the two operations and didn't get to see Michael even once, he and Michael had no other choice but to meet after one of Andromeda's meetings. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was already half past eleven when Daniel finally left the warehouse, where he'd met with the entire gang. If Daniel had been honest with himself, he'd half expected there to be a squad of police cars waiting for them to emerge, courtesy of Michael and his newfound knowledge of Andromeda's meeting place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Damn Pierre and his trust issues. Daniel wasn't usually like that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>To his relief, he only found Michael leaning against his car, parked two streets from the warehouses like he'd promised, standing in the night and taking in the fresh spring air. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel tasted the mildest alcohol on his lips, and Michael rarely ever drank, so Daniel asked, “Have you been drinking?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>MIchael’s eyes were bright under the streetlight the car was parked next to. He appeared to consider shaking his head, but eventually gave Daniel a tiny nod.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel passed on asking why, and instead kissed him again, realising how much he’d missed Michael over the last two weeks. Michael’s lips curled up into a smile against his, which made him giggle softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I missed you,” Michael whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me, too.” Daniel swept a fallen eyelash off Michael’s cheek. “Come on. Let’s take a drive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They got into a car and had started cruising slowly down the street as they debated where to go on their drive when Daniel saw Alex and George turn the corner, hand in hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, look,” he said. “It’s Alex and George. Let’s say hi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next thing he remembered was his head smacking hard against the window as Michael swerved across the empty lanes without checking for traffic just to make a last-minute left turn into the junction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ouch,” Daniel remarked. “What happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I thought we were supposed to turn here,” Michael said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t even keyed anything into the GPS,” Daniel pointed out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael didn’t respond. He swallowed nervously, and his grip tightened on the steering wheel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you drunk?” Daniel asked. He grabbed at Michael’s hands until Michael stepped on the brakes. “Hey. Michael.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop. I’ll drive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael got out obediently and switched places with Daniel. He sat quietly in the passenger seat as Daniel drove them in circles, the occasional streetlight illuminating his troubled features. He only gave a shrug when Daniel asked him where he wanted to go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Left with no other choice, Daniel drove them back to Michael’s apartment. Daniel was a little disappointed that they were just going to do something boring after not seeing each other for two weeks, but Michael seemed affected by something, he seemed tired, and Daniel wanted him to just rest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They took a long warm shower together, and Michael seemed to sober up slightly. Then Daniel stole a t-shirt from his closet and decided that it would have to do as his pyjamas for the night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When is the money heist happening?” Michael asked as they settled into bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tomorrow night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm.” The sheets rustled around Michael as he turned to face Daniel. “Good luck.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.” Daniel traced a finger over Michael’s cheek. “Hey. Are you doing okay? Tell me about your last two weeks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t really been doing anything,” Michael said. “Just work.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You feeling okay?” Michael’s forehead was warm, but Daniel assumed it was probably because he’d been drinking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhm,” Michael mumbled. His gaze faltered, as if Daniel had been looking at him too intensely, and his eyes didn’t meet Daniel’s again. He pressed his head against Daniel’s chest. “Just missed you,” he whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel didn’t try to stop him from falling asleep. He looked tired, and Daniel could really only relax once he felt Michael himself relax in Daniel’s arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel woke up later that night to find Michael awake again, looking more alert than he’d been earlier, although still a bit distracted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t seem to notice Daniel had awoken – or he chose not to respond, instead just running his hand soothingly in Daniel’s hair, over and over and over again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes glittered in what light was left in the room from the streetlight by the window, and for a moment Daniel thought he was crying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Only when Daniel touched a finger to his cheek did he realise that Michael indeed </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>crying. His tear landed on Daniel’s finger, but he was so distracted watching Daniel’s face that he didn’t notice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Worry took over Daniel as he wondered if Michael was having some sort of episode. He’d only known Michael a few months, after all. Just around half a year, if not a little less. He didn’t actually know too much about Michael. Maybe he was going through some problems he couldn’t talk about.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Daniel knew that whatever it was, he would tide over it with Michael. He would do </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything </span>
  </em>
  <span>for Michael.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s going on?” Daniel whispered. “Hey. You know you can talk to me, right? Babe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael startled a little, then pulled back, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m fine,” he said. “I think...I probably get like this when I drink.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel smiled. That was adorable. No wonder Michael never drank. “Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go back to sleep,” Michael said, getting up and walking towards the kitchen area. “I’m just gonna get some water.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel didn’t go back to sleep. Instead, he just waited for Michael to come back, and they spent the rest of the night watching each other from across the pillows, until the sun came up and bathed Michael in the calmest blue, making him look like an angel.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something just really sucked about planning for almost a month and then having it all be a fluke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The safe only contained a third of the money they’d been expecting. And it was a real letdown, because not only were they counting on that money for the entire rest of the gang, they had also just wasted all their time planning for something that was barely going to give each of them enough money to survive a week.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel was so exhausted when Pierre called HQ from the van and said that they were only getting a third of their anticipated share, he wanted to just go straight home and sleep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Michael hadn’t replied to any of his texts, so he decided to make a detour and catch the midnight bus downtown to Michael’s place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael opened the door for him, and his hair had grown out and was all messy, and it looked like he’d been lying in bed for a while when Daniel appeared at his door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He immediately wrapped Daniel tightly up in his arms, pushing his head into Daniel’s hair as Daniel tried guiding him into the apartment and closing the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’d it go?” he asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was a shitshow.” Daniel let go of Michael and headed straight to bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael followed him into bed, although all Daniel did was curl up on his side facing away from Michael. He climbed under the sheets, but instead of staying on his own side, decided to pounce on Daniel and wrap his arms around Daniel’s waist, his cheek resting on Daniel’s cheek. He mumbled incoherently as he pressed Daniel into the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m here if you wanna talk about it,” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“More than half of the money was gone. What’s left...it’s barely worth a month of planning. Each person’s share, we could’ve just gotten by, like, robbing a grocery store or whatever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It just feels like I let everybody down,” Daniel whispered. He didn’t know why he felt that way. He had no explanation for it. “Like I wasted everyone’s time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t,” Michael said softly. “You couldn’t have known.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Someone must’ve gotten there before we did. Or someone tipped him off so he moved his money. I don’t know. It just sucks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael’s grip tightened around Daniel’s waist. He pressed his lips softly against Daniel’s neck. “Have a nice rest, Dan. You deserve it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel sighed. He placed his hands on Michael’s, and they were cold. “Night,” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t think about it, okay? Don’t think. It’s all gonna be fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel...really had never loved anyone so much in his life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was easy to fall asleep being engulfed so tightly by Michael, so Daniel found himself drifting into semi-consciousness with no effort at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t so much the sound of Michael working out that woke Daniel up than the stench of sweat that drifted across the whole apartment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel propped himself up on his elbows and saw Michael in his exercise corner, lifting a 20-kilo kettlebell as if his life depended on it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Michael?” he called sleepily. “What’s going on?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael had his headphones on, and didn’t respond. The clock on the wall told Daniel it was past three in the morning. Daniel got up and shuffled around the kitchen island so he could approach Michael from the front and not startle him into dropping 20 kilos on his foot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, babe,” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael finally put down his kettlebell and pulled his headphones off. “Hey. Why’re you up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You stink.” Daniel wiped Michael’s dripping forehead with his palm, then immediately regretted it. “You’re stinking up this whole place.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael laughed softly, and he was looking fondly at Daniel again, although his gaze also held a sort of...melancholy. He pressed a hand to Daniel’s cheek, then slid it under Daniel’s ear. Daniel held his breath as Michael slowly leaned in, so slowly that Daniel actually began to ache for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The </span>
  <em>
    <span>way </span>
  </em>
  <span>Michael kissed him, it was everything at once, it was eager and hungry and familiar, but at the same time it seemed...a little hesitant, a little worried, as if Michael actually thought it was going to be the last time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael took him on the floor on his exercise mat, despite the bed being right there. He was warm and heavy and Daniel let himself melt under him, let Michael pound him against the rubber mat just because Michael seemed like he needed this outlet. He let his hands slide all over Michael’s sweaty body, relishing every curve, trying to remember the way each muscle dipped or each bone arched. And the way Michael held him in return made Daniel feel safer than anywhere else in the world.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why’d you get up to exercise?” Daniel asked once they’d caught their breaths.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I needed to clear my head.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you still…” Daniel gestured at the air. “Something’s troubling you still?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A short silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be okay. Sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me what’s going on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nothing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I always tell you things. You never tell me about your problems.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to tell you,” Michael whispered. He swept Daniel’s curls off his forehead. “I – I can’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is it –" Daniel tried to swallow the question, but failed. "Is it because I'm in Andromeda? Do you hate it?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael's eyes moved slowly to meet Daniel's, and the pause he gave – Daniel legitimately thought he was going to say yes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After all, he had begun noticing Michael acting weird right after he'd told Michael about Andromeda. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No," Michael eventually said, and despite everything else, the way Michael said it, with such gentle conviction, made Daniel want to believe him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Michael," Daniel whispered. "You know – they're my best friends. They're my family. They'll always come first for me. I love them with my whole entire heart. And if that – if that's a problem for you –"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's not a problem for me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What's wrong, then? Is it work?” Daniel asked. “Is it your family?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dan…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Daniel said softly. “Just...when you’re ready, you’ll tell me, yeah? I’ll always listen to you, Michael. I’ve – I’ve been so worried about you. You’re acting different.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael gently pushed Daniel off him, then flopped over on his back so he was looking up at the ceiling, and this time it really looked like he was avoiding Daniel. "Dan," he said softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hmm?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Will I...will I ever lose you?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why are you asking that?" Daniel turned his body, and Michael turned his head to meet him. "Hey. You won't lose me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I just…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What's going on?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael shook his head, then turned it to face the ceiling again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just don’t know how to talk about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel became more and more convinced this was about Andromeda. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you’ll figure it out?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll figure it out. I promise. Just...just give me some time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Daniel would literally give Michael anything he wanted. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Anything. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He climbed into Michael’s chest and pressed himself into it. “Get some sleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel didn’t manage to go to sleep right away, despite how tired he was from the entire night’s events starting from the failed heist. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was kept awake by the feeling of Michael’s eyes on him as Michael thought, and thought, and thought deep into the night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Michael only seemed to sleep well when Daniel was with him, so Daniel spent days on end at Michael's apartment. He would let Michael wrap him up like he was a giant bolster, and sleep so soundly Daniel actually felt proud of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had fewer appointments with his clients, and he'd begun ignoring his phone, so Daniel guessed it really was work stuff that was bugging him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel only left Michael's apartment to get them food and for brief meetings with Andromeda. It was usually when Michael was already fast asleep, so he wouldn’t notice Daniel sneaking away and coming back two hours later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He eventually ran out of clothes to wear at Michael’s apartment, so he made a trip back home to collect a small backpack of clothes. He was at the front door with his things on the way back to Michael’s apartment when his phone rang with a call from Pierre.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daniel.” He sounded anxious. “Dan. Tell me where you are. Right now, where are you exactly?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m at my apartment getting some clothes,” Daniel said. “Why? What happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. Okay, good.” Pierre sighed in relief. “Okay. Stay where you are. Okay? Stay at your apartment. Me and George, we’re gonna go get you now. Stay in your apartment.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why? I gotta go back to Michael’s.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. No, Dan. Listen.” Pierre’s voice rose a few decibels. “Lando snuck a photo of Michael the last time we all hung out together. You know how he refuses to meet George? It’s because George knows him. He worked with George in the police department. He was George’s desk partner. He works for the fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>police, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Dan –”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” Daniel could barely process the words, but he knew he couldn’t believe them. “No, Pierre. That’s not true. He’s not in the police database.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Michael Italiano isn’t his real name, Daniel. Fuck!” Pierre pulled the phone away to yell. “Daniel. Please, you have to listen. Don’t go back to his place. It’s not safe. Stay where you are and let us come get you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Daniel said again, this time in a whisper. He had to shut his eyes for a moment as the entire world seemed to collapse around him. He thought of all the times Michael had acted weird, and how Daniel had brushed them off without a thought, and he knew any sort of disbelief was futile. “No. This can’t be true.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Dan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel couldn’t respond. He didn’t know how to respond. He couldn’t find enough strength in his body to say anything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He trusted Michael with his entire life, and – </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel wanted to believe that all of this was just a cruel joke, that it was just Pierre and Alex and Lando playing an evil prank on him for being such a big simp for Michael.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he knew Pierre wouldn’t do that, he wouldn’t just call Daniel and break his heart this way just for a few laughs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daniel?” Pierre’s voice was soft again. “Hey, you still there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll wait for you,” Daniel whispered. He hurriedly wiped the tears off his face, although no one could see him. “Yeah. Come get me, please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll be right there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel hung up the phone and took a deep, deep breath, trying not to focus on too much except for the fact that he would see Pierre and George soon and they would explain everything to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He opened his door again to get back into his apartment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And the next thing he knew, someone was grabbing him from behind and pressing a towel to his nose and mouth, and when Daniel tried to scream, all he managed to do was inhale and pass out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The room Daniel awoke in was grey, and cold, and hostile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tried to move, but found himself bound to a black metal chair with ropes around his arms and ankles. His wrists were tied together in his lap. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sitting across the room from him, in another metal chair with one of his legs crossed over the other, was Lawrence Stroll, smoking a cigarette. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn't the person Daniel had expected to see – in fact, Daniel was so groggy, he wasn't even sure if this was only a dream – so Daniel just stared at him for a while. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Daniel," he greeted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What is this?" Daniel whispered. He had – Daniel had literally never been so confused in his life. "Where am I?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I have a problem and I need your help with it," Lawrence said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't know where Max went," was the first thing Daniel thought to say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lawrence raised his eyebrows. "Hmm. Wasn't what I wanted, but okay."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What do you want?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have a certain Michael wrapped around your finger, and I need him back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you know Michael?” Daniel asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll let him tell you.” Lawrence checked his watch. “He should be here soon. He should’ve already gotten my message.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel blinked at him. The last thing he remembered was a towel over his face, and whatever he’d breathed in had made his body ache all over. Or maybe it was just these ropes. Whatever it was, Daniel was exhausted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lawrence left him alone in the room, though through the little window slot in the door Daniel could see two guards.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel was so drowsy, he closed his eyes and fell right back asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next time that door opened, it was Michael.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel was awoken by the sound of the knob, but didn’t find enough energy to respond until Michael was kneeling next to him, a knife in his hands as he worked on the ropes tying Daniel to the chair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You work with the cops?” Daniel hated how his voice sounded. He hated how it was broken and sad and he hated how </span>
  <em>
    <span>weak</span>
  </em>
  <span> he was for Michael. "What's happening? Why is Stroll here?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll talk to you later," Michael whispered, sawing intently at the ropes binding Daniel's hands. "I promise."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No." Daniel began to cry again, and. And he just felt so helpless and betrayed. He tried pulling his wrists out of Michael's grasp, but failed with his limited movement. "Michael. You have to tell me what's going on."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I promise I'll tell you." Michael peered up to meet Daniel's gaze, and the look in his eyes – it was just as broken as Daniel felt, and tired, and sad, and just… "Daniel, I –"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door opened again, and this time in walked Lawrence Stroll, complete with a new cigarette in his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re here,” he said to Michael. Neither him nor his men tried to stop Michael from releasing Daniel’s ropes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck do you want, Lawrence?” Michael demanded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want you to stop being a fucking pussy and come back to the side you belong to,” Lawrence snapped. He gestured wildly at Daniel. “This is the one? This is the man you’re betraying me for because you </span>
  <em>
    <span>fell in fucking love</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What side?” Daniel whispered. “What’s going on? Will someone tell me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, Daniel," Lawrence said. The smile on his face was menacing. "Oh, poor Daniel. Would you like to know what happened? Maybe Michael can tell you. Or should I call you…Milos?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael tilted his head threateningly at Lawrence, and. And Daniel had never seen him that way ever before, so stern and so angry and with this indescribable look in his eye. He almost looked...like an evil version of himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Who's that?" Daniel asked. "Michael, is that you? Is that you?" Daniel's voice got lodged in his throat as a sob blocked it. "Please, can someone tell me what's going on?" he whispered. "What do you want from me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Would you like to tell him, Michael?" Lawrence asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Let him go, Lawrence," Michael said, pressing his knife into Daniel's hand and standing upright so he could look Lawrence in the eye. "Let him go. I'll settle this with you myself. We don't have to involve him. He's innocent."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uh-uh. Nope." Lawrence shook his head. "He stays here until you give me the information that I want. Until you tell me that you're not quitting."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Quitting what?" Daniel whispered. "Michael. Michael, please."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Tell him," Lawrence ordered. "I want to see you say it to his face."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael turned to Daniel again, and. And his eyes were full of the kind of pain that Daniel couldn’t even begin to describe, a deeper pain that Daniel had been seeing in them over the past couple of weeks. “Daniel,” he breathed softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me,” Daniel begged. “Please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael’s gaze faltered, and he appeared to reach out for Daniel, but pulled his hand back at the last moment. He took a deep, staggering breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Esteban's gang, your – your rivals, they work for Stroll Industries. They take Stroll's underground operations. I – I'm…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Say it, Michael."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I work for them. I work for Lawrence and Esteban. I'm their mole in the police department. My real name is Milos Katopodis in the official records. Michael’s just...just what I call myself outside of it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel just – </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel was suddenly so nauseous. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh my god," he whispered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael worked for the police </span>
  <em>
    <span>and Esteban. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He worked for </span>
  <em>
    <span>two </span>
  </em>
  <span>of Andromeda's rivals. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The room was silent, and Daniel refused to look up at them. Instead, he just continued sawing at the ropes across his chest, his wrists hurting from the awkward angle they were put in and the knife almost cutting open the front of his shirt. But Daniel couldn't stop working at it, or he'd start thinking, and he wouldn't stop thinking, and maybe he would just </span>
  <em>
    <span>die. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to do it anymore, Dan,” Michael said softly. “That’s why we’re here. I’m trying to get out of it. Because I want to be with you. Dan, I – I’ll tell you everything. I promise. I didn’t mean for you to find out this way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everything suddenly made sense.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The way Michael had spiralled. The way he’d thought he would lose Daniel. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The way he’d closed up completely, to everyone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe he did have real feelings for Daniel, and maybe he was willing to double-cross Lawrence Stroll in favour of them. Maybe he really was having a complete breakdown because of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it didn’t erase everything that had come before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you know how Verstappen ruined our lives?" Lawrence asked. "He killed Lance for no reason. No fucking reason. That was my son, Daniel. My son. Do you know how heartbroken Esteban was? You don't, do you? Lance was his best friend."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It was all a lie," Daniel whispered, more to himself than for anyone else. He desperately sawed at the ropes across his chest until they loosened enough for him to free his arms. "Everything was a lie. It was a lie."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Michael got Alex’s name from Russell. After Russell quit, I sent Michael to get close to your gang so we could find out where Verstappen went. But Michael was convinced that you guys didn’t know anything, so we decided to just snoop on all your business and intercept your operations," Lawrence continued. "He was supposed to get close to Pierre at the gym by making Pierre his client. But then you appeared, Daniel, and you were a much easier target. I mean, you practically jumped on him."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Stop it," Daniel sobbed. "Please stop. I don't want to hear any more."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Daniel, I'm sorry." Michael's whisper was weak. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think the money from the safe just disappeared for no reason?” Lawrence asked. “You think you guys just got unlucky? No. Michael told Esteban about it and his men got to it first. I told them to leave a little bit for you guys out of pity.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up,” Daniel said. The ropes around his ankles were a lot easier to break, and Daniel hacked diligently at them. “Shut up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We had such a good thing going on, didn’t we, Michael? After all these years. After everything I’ve given you. Look at who you are today. All of it was because of me, because of my money and what I’ve given you. But then you had to go and develop </span>
  <em>
    <span>feelings.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My feelings are none of your fucking business, Lawrence.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They are if you’re betraying me in favour of them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you, it’s a truce. You let me leave, and I keep your secrets forever. Neither of us loses anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We had a deal, Michael. This wasn’t part of the deal. You owe me. You have to offer me something in return.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have. I just offered you protection. I’ll never turn you in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm.” Lawrence thought about it. “Nope. That’s not enough. Maybe offer me Daniel, and I’ll let you go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t have Daniel. He belongs to Andromeda. He won’t ever serve you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll see about that. If he’s just like you, it won’t be too hard for him to switch sides.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael’s jaw tightened. “No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lawrence turned to Daniel. His eyes were dark with a sort of adrenaline. “What do you think, Daniel?” he asked. “Do you want to join forces with us, be our man in Andromeda, and you’ll be protected forever from both sides?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s too late,” Daniel said, with all the remaining strength in his body. “We know. Andromeda already knows that Michael works for the police. And soon they’ll know that Michael’s working for you, too. And then it’ll be the end for you, Stroll. You’re going down. You and Esteban and all your men.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without so much as a twitch in his facial features, and with his gaze still stably holding Daniel’s – Lawrence Stroll reached behind his back, pulled out a gun, and pointed it directly at Daniel’s head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not if I kill you first.” The words seemed to echo off all the walls in the room. “You know what? That would be the ideal scenario. Michael wouldn’t quit if you didn’t exist.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel swallowed hard. Maybe this was it. Maybe this was the end for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The metal was cold against Daniel’s skin. Daniel hated that it would be the last sensation he would ever remember.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t decide if death was a better option than looking across the room and seeing the heartbroken look on Michael’s face, the look that Daniel didn’t even know now if he was faking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do it then, Lawrence,” Daniel dared.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lawrence pressed his gun harder against Daniel’s head, and Daniel closed his eyes in anticipation, but he heard the soft click of another gun being cocked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He opened his eyes again to see Michael pointing a gun at Lawrence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do it, Lawrence.” Michael’s voice was steadier than Michael himself seemed to be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The most sinister smile appeared on Lawrence’s face. He pivoted on his heel and aimed his gun at Michael. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I’ll finally kill you, Michael,” he said. “You’re of no use to me now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can kill me if you let Daniel go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm,” Lawrence said. “Good proposition. I’ll let him go after you’re dead.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let him go, let him live his own life, call this whole thing a truce, and I’ll get myself out of your hair. Swear to me, Lawrence.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a deal.” Lawrence had a smug smile on his face. “I keep my word. You know me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let him go first. Then you can have my life.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll talk this out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Step away from Daniel.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lawrence cocked his head to the side. “Don’t be soft. It’s not a good look on you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Step the fuck away from Daniel, Lawrence.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lawrence took a few steps away from Daniel, his gun still hovering in Michael’s direction. He stopped directly across from Michael, the two of them separated by six feet of stale air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel took the opportunity to break the last rope tying his ankles together, but sat still where he was so he wouldn’t attract any attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door was still being guarded by two men, so it wasn’t like he could just run anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do it, Lawrence,” Michael spat. “Shoot me. Fucking shoot me. You don’t fucking dare, do you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just trying to figure out where I should aim.” Lawrence’s voice was calm, like a psychopath’s. He moved his gun further upwards towards Michael’s forehead, then down to his chest. “Maybe your heart. That’s your weakness.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel watched Michael slowly lift his gun and point it at his own head. His jaw clenched hard for a moment before he said, “Save the trouble. I’ll do it myself. Let Daniel go right now, and I’ll do it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Michael,” Daniel gasped, and as much as he hated it, he felt tears rolling down his cheeks, because that was the </span>
  <em>
    <span>love of his life</span>
  </em>
  <span> and he couldn’t watch him die. No matter how much Daniel hated him at that moment. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>couldn’t.</span>
  </em>
  <span> “No. Don’t. No, no, no –”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daniel –”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“– no. Michael. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Michael</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you, Daniel,” Michael whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The look in his eyes – the look in Michael’s eyes absolutely tore Daniel into shreds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hand started shaking, the cold grey metal of the gun trembling against his temple. His head was turned towards Daniel, and tears rolled down his cheeks as his finger settled on the trigger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get out of here, Daniel. Get out. It’ll all be okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. </span>
  <em>
    <span>No. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Michael. Please put the gun down. Please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry,” Michael mouthed. He squeezed his eyes shut, like he was scared. “I love you so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Daniel whispered. “No. Michael.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The click of Lawrence cocking his gun was enhanced in Daniel’s consciousness. Daniel turned to him just as his aim settled on Michael’s chest again, as if he was impatient and had decided to do the deed on his own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel wasn’t even thinking as he flung all his ropes to the ground and leapt out of his chair into the space between Michael and Lawrence. He clawed at Michael’s gun-welding hand as he mounted Michael like a koala straddling a tree trunk, trying to thwart Lawrence’s shot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The gunshot that sounded was the loudest sound Daniel had ever heard, but he wasn’t sure which gun it had come from.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next thing he knew, he was falling to the ground and the entire left side of his body was burning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael fell with him, his arms cradling Daniel like a baby, his gun clattering to the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t his gun. He was alive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel felt like he could explode with this indescribable feeling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daniel,” Michael whispered. “Fuck. Daniel.” His hand was red and sticky as he pressed it on Daniel’s face. “Fuck. Why the fuck did you do that? Stay with me. Dan. Stay with me, please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The room began spinning around Daniel. Michael’s face was a blur, and Daniel tried reaching for it, but his arm wouldn’t move, and he tried to tell Michael that he loved him, that he loved him </span>
  <em>
    <span>so much, </span>
  </em>
  <span>but when he opened his mouth no sound came out of it, and Daniel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel was suddenly so tired.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dan.” Michael slapped him gently on the cheek. “Please,” he sobbed. “Daniel. Daniel.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel closed his eyes and went to sleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Every time Daniel woke up, he was so tired, and he began wishing that he could just...never wake up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stared up at the gentle orange light positioned just above his head so it wouldn’t shine directly into his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everything smelled so...sterile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was in a bed, but it was raised so Daniel was sitting up and it wasn’t flat; there was a pillow under his left lower back, holding his left shoulder up. When Daniel tried to move it, a stabbing pain shot down his arm, blinding his vision for a moment, and he winced.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He propped himself up further upright with his good elbow and discovered he was in a hospital room, and sitting in the chair next to the bed was –</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daniel,” he said softly when Daniel turned to him. “Hey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The emotion that immediately overwhelmed Daniel was relief, which was quickly followed by a crippling fear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stay away from me,” Daniel said weakly, scrambling towards the side of the bed furthest from Michael as Michael rose from his seat. Daniel spotted a big red button on the wall next to his bed and pounded on it with his fist, ignoring the sharp pain that was coursing throughout his whole body as he jostled his arm around. “Don’t come near me, Michael.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daniel –” Michael took a step towards the bed, but Daniel cowered even further back, making him stop. He raised his hands in submission. “Okay. Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel continued punching at the emergency button, now in tears. “Why isn’t anyone coming?” he whispered. “Someone come and help me. Please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A nurse eventually appeared, making Michael retreat further into the corner, leaning on the glass of the window separating the room from the corridor. She took Daniel's temperature and gave him a glass of water before disappearing for a moment and returning with a doctor and a medical kit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel was told that the bullet pierced right through the back of his left shoulder and was lodged in his scapula before they got it out. And that he was lucky, because a few inches to the right and it would have hit his spine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His wound dressing was changed, and it came away a dark red, so Daniel imagined it was still bleeding away. His arm was put in a sling so there wouldn't be too much weight on his shoulder. The bruises on his wrists and arms from the ropes were still pink, and they were lathered with some antiseptic cream. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was given two painkillers and another glass of water, which he took gratefully, because if the bullet hadn't killed him, this pain surely was going to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The nurse placed the pillow back under Daniel so his shoulder floated slightly off the mattress, and brought another one for his arm to rest on. He was told that he had to sleep in a sitting position with his arm supported until his shoulder recovered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael stood quietly in the corner through it all, and it looked like he was crying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel just...he wanted to throw up, and suddenly the sound of the gunshot was the only thing in his mind, replaying itself over and over again, and maybe Daniel could taste metal in his mouth. His vision blurred again, turning white both with the pain in his shoulder and the memory of how it happened, and Daniel turned fully on his side towards the other window in the room, the one that overlooked the hospital garden, facing away from Michael.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daniel.” Michael’s voice was soft, as if he didn’t want to startle Daniel. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get the fuck out of the room, Michael. Get the fuck out. I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to hear what you have to say. It’s all going to be a lie anyway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael gave a soft mumble, as if he’d been brought to tears again. Daniel willed himself not to turn around, not to fall into that same trap made by those beautiful eyes and that beautiful face. He wasn’t going to get fooled twice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry that I put you in danger," Michael finally said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's it?" Daniel asked. "That's all you're going to apologise for?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Dan –" Michael started, but all the remaining fight in his voice faded away as he continued, "I'm sorry I wasn't who I said I was. I'm sorry that I lied to you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That doesn’t change anything.” Daniel pressed his face into the pillow, willing his tears not to sound in his voice. “Do you get that? That doesn’t change anything at all. I was just a toy to you. Just something you could use, something you could dig information out of and then throw aside.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That's not true. It's not true. When I first saw you –” Michael’s voice caught in his throat. “Dan. When I first saw you, I – you were so beautiful. Oh my god, you looked so beautiful. I couldn’t stand doing it to you. I always knew it was going to be hard.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t say that,” Daniel muttered through gritted teeth. “Don’t you fucking say that. You did it anyway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I tried to get out of it. I really, really did. I wanted out. Once I realised I was falling for you, I tried to get out of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. I was just an easy target. That’s all you thought of me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daniel…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to hear it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I tried so hard, Dan,” Michael sobbed. “I really, really tried, I tried so hard to back out. I refused to pick up the phone. I refused to give information. But every day it was call after call trying to get me. I couldn’t take it. Dan, I kept trying to tell you. I wanted to tell you so bad, you know that. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You know that</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Daniel. You know I was having trouble. I just – I wanted to tell you so bad. I wanted to stop.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t fucking matter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It does to me. Daniel, please. I’m so sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck off, Michael. You make me sick.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I –” Michael choked on his words again. He took a deep breath. “I just – you know why he held you hostage? Why he used you as leverage against me? It’s because you mean the world to me, Daniel. And he knows that, and he used that against me. It’s because you mean the world to me, and I chose you over him. There isn’t any other reason he would do that. I just...please, just...I’m – I’ll go. But please, I just – please give me a chance to explain.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel shut his eyes. He was just...so tired.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He heard Michael’s footsteps make it to the door before stopping.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Daniel," he whispered.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel was trembling so hard with the effort he put in to not turn around. He clenched his fists around the blanket, the soreness piercing his shoulder blade almost enough to knock him out again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you for saving my life."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel squeezed his eyes shut. Maybe if he willed it hard enough, he could go back in time and unmeet Michael. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But the lure of sleep was simply too strong, and Daniel didn’t think he would ever stop being this exhausted, so he just let it take him away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lando was the next person who appeared by Daniel’s bedside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It looked like a new day, and Daniel woke up with his body twisted a bit away from Lando to accommodate his shoulder. He turned his head and saw Lando playing a game on his phone, the sound muted. He had dragged the chair closer to Daniel's bed, and was leaning forwards on it, his hands and phone resting gently on Daniel's thigh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey," Daniel whispered, placing his hand on Lando's head. His shoulder felt like it was creaking like an old hinge as he did so.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lando put his phone away immediately. "Daniel," he said, sounding cheerful. He took a burger out of his jacket pocket, like he'd been hiding it. "Here. I snuck you a burger. The food here looks disgusting."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel didn't think he had any appetite, but Lando looked so eager, so Daniel took the burger and unwrapped it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lando started talking to him about some random games, probably to distract him from his shoulder, but Daniel only had one thought in his mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Where were you guys?" He interrupted Lando in the middle of a sentence. "Why'd you let Michael in here alone?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lando swallowed nervously. "We talked to him. He told us everything. George was – god, Daniel. George and Pierre were so fucking mad. I'd never seen George so mad. But Michael was...he was heartbroken. He just stood there and let them yell at him. He said he spiralled towards the end because he couldn't contain his feelings for you. And it felt like he was telling the truth, so we thought we'd let you talk. We were sitting outside, waiting."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I think he's telling the truth," Daniel whispered. "But it doesn't...it doesn't change everything he did before. Everything he's been doing. You know?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mhm. Yeah."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I just...I don't know him anymore."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Daniel." Lando sighed. "I'm...I'm sorry. I was the one who said it was okay if you told him about Andromeda. And when I checked the police database for his name, I didn't think he could've been in it with a fake name. I'm sorry."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's okay." Daniel poked him in the cheek. "It wasn't your fault. You didn't know. And you saved me, you saved us when you snuck the photo of Michael to George."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry you had a scare when you woke up. I was worried it wouldn't be safe, either, but." Lando shrugged. "The others thought it'd be okay to watch through the window."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's cool. It was fine. I just wondered."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Daniel. You have to make a decision about him. It's not up to us. We've talked it out with him, we know what's going on and what's going to happen, but it's not right for me to tell you. We want Michael to tell you by himself. So now it's your turn to work things out."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know." Daniel </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He just – he was just so tired of thinking about it. "I...everything has just been a blur. I can't even begin to process what happened. Every time I think about what happened in that room with Michael and Lawrence Stroll, I feel like I want to throw up."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If you'd died –" Lando stumbled on his words. "If you'd died in that room, I wouldn't know what to do with myself."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't know how to handle this, Daniel," Lando whispered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel nodded. He let his tears land on the front of his hospital gown. "Do you miss Max?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lando nodded. "Yeah." His voice was choked up. "Yeah. He'd know what to do. He always knew what to do."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry, Lando. That I put you all in danger."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's alright. It's over now. We're all safe."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I just…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We don't have to talk about it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel nodded again. "Maybe...maybe next time. When we're strong enough."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lando smiled. He curled a hand around Daniel's and squeezed it, gently so he wouldn't send pain shooting up Daniel's arm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know it's been so hard for you since Max left," he said. "I know it is, Dan. But you have me. And I have you. I know we have the others now too but...sometimes, it's only gonna be you and me. We're all we have. We're all we ever had, from the start. And I love that. I'm always gonna be by your side."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Love you, buddy." Daniel ruffled his hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lando’s laugh was small, but it was relieved, the same relief that showed in Lando’s eyes when he looked at Daniel. “Eat your dumb burger,” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are the others? I miss them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They went out to get coffee. I told them to get a hot chocolate for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre, Alex, and George returned a while later, when Daniel was done with his burger. They got a few more chairs into the room and sat on both sides of the bed, Alex and George squeezing together by the window. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had only been at most three or four days, Daniel was sure, but he felt like he hadn't seen them in weeks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sat in the middle of their warmth, holding his hot chocolate and trying not to cry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had so many things to tell them, so many things he wanted to say, but no energy to put them into words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So he was grateful that the four of them just sat around him and talked and laughed as if the past few days had never happened, that they just let him sit there and listen and laugh along with them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel started drifting off to sleep after taking his painkillers, but he managed to slip in a mumbled ‘thank you’ to them as he struggled to stay awake for the umpteenth time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re an absolute idiot, but we love you,” George said, ruffling Daniel’s hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We know what it’s like to be in love,” Alex added.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gross,” Pierre threw an empty cup across the bed at Alex’s face. “Can’t relate.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel fell asleep smiling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The nightmares just...didn’t go away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grey rooms and grey guns haunted Daniel every time he closed his eyes. The sound of Lawrence Stroll taunting him. The psychopathic look in his eyes. Michael’s voice pleading for Daniel’s life. The feeling of ropes binding Daniel to a chair that didn’t exist in that hospital room. The sound of the gunshot replayed over and over and over again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sometimes, Daniel saw a bloodied Michael, lying on the floor, dead, and his heart would break even though he would wake up knowing that none of it was real and Michael was just a good old liar who made it out alive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel was so sick of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He woke up so many times in a cold sweat, no matter the time of day, that the others decided it would be best if there was someone sitting by his bedside all the time. Most of the time it was Lando, sleeping with his head on Daniel’s leg. Occasionally it would be Alex sleeping on George’s shoulder as he read on his kindle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It...never really was Pierre.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel wondered if Pierre was angry at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a storm outside the window when Daniel woke up one afternoon, and Daniel really hadn’t been getting out of bed enough other than to get to the bathroom and sometimes because Lando wanted him to stretch his legs by walking down the corridor, so he got out of bed and stood by the window, listening to the raindrops hit the glass and trying to rotate his shoulder as far as it could go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel hadn’t bothered to see who was sitting by his bed, but he would recognise that voice anywhere. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He heard that voice in his dreams.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pleading for Daniel’s life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sound of it still made Daniel’s heart clench, the memory of it, the way it was both heaven and hell.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you here?” Daniel asked Michael. “Please just – just leave me alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just need to talk to you.” Michael sounded tired. “Let me talk to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel shook his head. “No,” he whispered. “I don’t want to hear it. I told you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will you talk to me, then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel took a long, deep breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If Michael wanted to hear it, then maybe Daniel would say it all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you know –” Daniel tried his hardest not to choke on his words, on the bile rising in his throat. “Do you know how much this haunts me? I keep thinking...I keep thinking about how I was the one who’d jumped on you, like Lawrence said. About how I trusted you with my entire life. I told you everything, Michael, and you didn’t even ask. I fell into this hole all by myself. And I loved you, I loved you and I trusted you so much and you were going around behind my back betraying me. Do you know – I feel so used, so humiliated, and I can’t even blame anyone but myself. Do you know that? Do you? You don’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you trusted me. I know that I hurt you more than either of us can ever describe,” Michael said. “I was – I won’t deny what I’ve done. But once I realised I didn’t want to do it anymore, I tried to get out of it. I really, really tried. I didn’t want to continue betraying you. I just – I just couldn’t get out of it. You have to believe me, Daniel. I love you more than anything else. More than life. More than my entire life and what I used to do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was all based on a lie. Don’t you get it? How we met, how we got to know each other, how we fell in love – it was all based on one lie, that you’re just not who you said you were. It’s all one big lie. Nothing will ever change that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daniel…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You say you love me now, but I – it doesn’t take away everything else. You know? It doesn’t take away everything else that you’ve done. You betrayed me and you humiliated me and my heart – my heart hurts so much and I don’t think I can ever forgive you for that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you this way. I only – I was going to get out of it, and I was going to tell you, and I was never going to do anything behind your back ever again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t matter, Michael. You’ve done so much to hurt me. You chose to hurt me, over and over again. And it was so fucking easy for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Easy? Okay, if you think it was easy for me to hurt you, then why didn’t I just continue doing it? You think I chose to fall in love with you?" Michael's voice was different now, it was angrier, it was louder, and it was thick with his tears. "You think I chose this, Dan? You think I chose to make my life so hard for myself? I didn't. I didn't choose to fall in love with you. But here I am."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael had never raised his voice at Daniel before. He had never been this angry with Daniel, never been too hard on Daniel, even when Daniel was acting like a brat or making stupid decisions or deliberately annoying him. He had always, always been slow and patient and supportive towards Daniel, and he had always been so soft with Daniel, as if he was a jewel Michael couldn’t drop. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So to hear him speak that way made Daniel’s heart clench even more tightly. To see this completely different side of Michael. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel refused to turn around, knowing that if he did, he would just have a complete breakdown. And he couldn't do that. He didn't want to do that in front of Michael. He didn't want Michael to see in Daniel's eyes that Daniel had always been so deeply in love with him and that this betrayal was like a thousand knives to his heart, a thousand knives all twisted. Daniel was weak enough in Michael's eyes. He didn't want to be even weaker. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you know why I pointed that gun at myself?" Michael asked. "Because I would rather die, Dan. I would rather have died than to stick around and see that I've hurt you this way. I would rather die. But –" Michael paused, as if his tears had overwhelmed him. "When I took up this job, to get close to Pierre and get close to you, I never wanted any of this to happen. I never wanted to fall in love. But I just...did. And I don't wish that I hadn't. Being in love with you is the best feeling I've ever felt. I just wish that Lawrence Stroll would've let me leave his business without putting you in danger. I know I chose to hurt you in the beginning. I know that and you're right to say it. But then I began choosing </span>
  <em>
    <span>you. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I began choosing you over anything else, Daniel. That's why we're here right now. I'm not lying when I say I would rather have died than to see you like this. But I would rather fight to have you back than to never have you again. I am – I am so, so deeply in love with you, Daniel Ricciardo. I know you don't believe me. I know nothing I do will ever change this. I just hope that you can give me a chance."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel could hear the hurt in his voice. The way he was begging. The way each last sliver of hope left him with every word. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Daniel wanted to turn around, he wanted to look Michael in the eye for the first time in days and days, he wanted to look at Michael's beautiful, </span>
  <em>
    <span>beautiful </span>
  </em>
  <span>face again – but he thought if he did, he really would throw up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So he stood where he was, staring at the raindrops racing down the window.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Tell me how to make things right," Michael sobbed. "Please. Daniel."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You can't," Daniel whispered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael stood for a while, sniffling loudly, as if he physically couldn’t move away from Daniel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just…” he whispered, his voice so...small and weak and breaking Daniel’s heart all over again in a way he hated. “I love you. I just want you to know that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please just leave me alone. I can’t look at you. I can’t deal with you being here. You make me want to throw up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael sighed. Daniel felt all the fight leave Michael’s body and settle in the room as a tense air of defeat. “Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door clicked softly as Michael left, and the other sounds of the room began to flood Daniel’s senses again. The rain battered the windowpane, and Daniel let the sound deafen him. He just closed his eyes and let it bury him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door opened again a while later, and Lando stopped next to Daniel, tucking himself under Daniel's good arm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I just feel so dirty," Daniel whispered to him. "So used. So dirty and disgusting. I don't know who I am."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't take it so hard on yourself," Lando said. "We're all okay. You're okay. That's all that matters."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I was so stupid, Lando. I was so, so stupid."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You couldn't have known. It's always been in your blood to be welcoming and friendly. You couldn't have known about him."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm just so angry. Angry at him and at myself."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know." Lando gave Daniel's waist a squeeze with his arms. "Just...maybe don't make a decision now. While you're angry. Wait till you're less angry, and maybe you'll see more clearly."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are the others?” Daniel asked. “I...I just, I haven’t apologised to them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re outside.” Lando followed Daniel as he made his way slowly around the bed and to the door. “You don’t have to. We’re all good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre was standing in front of George and Alex sitting on the row of chairs outside Daniel’s room. They all turned around when Daniel emerged, his floppy hospital slippers slapping against the floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Guys.” Daniel hated how his voice was still weak from being so angry earlier. “I wanna say that I’m sorry. For everything that I put all of you through. It was...it was really stupid. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t think too much about it,” Alex said. “We’re all here now. That’s everything that matters. Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it’s not that important now,” George added. “Did you talk to Milos – I mean, Michael? He just walked away earlier. He has a lot of things to explain to you. Did you hear him out?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to listen to whatever he says,” Daniel whispered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You have to listen to him, Dan," Pierre said, his voice soft. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel just…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He burst into tears again at the sound of Pierre's voice. He fell into Pierre's arms, wrapping Pierre up in a weak hug. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Pierre," he mumbled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What's wrong?" Pierre said softly into Daniel's ear. "Hey. You're okay. Yeah? We've got you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry, Pierre."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre gave him a tight squeeze, then started shuffling him back towards the room. “C’mon, let’s get you back to bed,” he said. “It’s almost time for your medicine. Then you’ll have another nice nap, and you’ll be okay. Yeah? Dan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will you sit with me?” Daniel asked. “You haven’t been sitting with me. We haven’t been hanging out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’ll sit with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre sat on one of the plastic chairs closer to the window so he could lean on the wall. He smiled at Daniel as Daniel settled with his usual assortment of pillows and blankets. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay?” he asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel nodded. “Just wanted to chill with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every single day was just a blur of Daniel waking up groggy and sweaty from his nightmares, going to the bathroom, and then barely having enough time for himself before his next round of painkillers came and made him drowsy. That day was no different, and he was served the pills in a little transparent cup.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t leave, okay, Pierre?” Daniel whispered as his head fell on the pillow. “You’re my best brother.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre laughed. “Okay,” he said, and he was sitting on Daniel's good side, so he took Daniel’s hand and held it tight. “I’ll be sitting right here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Honestly, Pierre's hand in Daniel's was the only thing in the world giving Daniel strength right then. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So Daniel fell asleep clutching it for dear life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Daniel woke up a few times during that dose of the painkillers, only from the sound of Pierre watching a video softly on his phone, and then nudging Daniel in the thigh as he slept. But he didn’t mind. He just wanted Pierre by his side. He just wanted things to be okay between the two of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next time they were both awake together, it seemed to be daytime again outside, and Daniel had startled himself awake from a nightmare where the crazed look in Michael's eyes as he fought for Daniel's life was all Daniel could remember. He woke up grasping the sheets, and Pierre was sipping on a smoothie, which he put down to hold Daniel's hand again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” he greeted Daniel. "Hey. It's okay."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel started crying for absolutely no reason. The nightmares always seemed worse when Daniel had seen or spoken to Michael right before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Dan." Pierre picked up a second smoothie from the table next to Daniel. His hair was flat on one side from the way he’d slept. “I got one for you. Berries.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pierre.” He seemed to be avoiding Daniel’s gaze. “Can we talk?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre’s shoulders heaved slightly with his small sigh. “We don’t have to. We’re okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pierre.” Daniel tucked more pillows under his back so he could sit upright. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre looked down at his half-empty smoothie and swallowed hard. “Dan. We’re okay, I swear.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then why won’t you look at me?” Daniel asked. “Why won’t you talk to me, and why won’t you hang out with me like everyone else?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s…” Pierre shrugged, but he still didn’t look up at Daniel. “I just needed...a little distance. From everything. It’s not about you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you angry at me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Pierre whispered. “I’m not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pierre, I –” Daniel found tears pricking the back of his eyes again. "I let you down. I'm so sorry. I let you down."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't say that."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I did." Daniel </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and he </span>
  <em>
    <span>hated</span>
  </em>
  <span> himself for it. "You told me about how you were dealing with Charles leaving, and you told me how you were so angry at Alex for wanting to leave, and I – I just went ahead and did all of this. I put everything at risk. I put our friendship at risk. I put the entire Andromeda at risk. All for myself. After you told me how hard it was for you to deal with anyone making a mistake and having to escape. After I promised you I’d never do the same. You warned me so many times that I didn’t know him that well, and you kept telling me to be careful and not get too attached, and – I let you down, Pierre, and I hate myself for it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't say that, Daniel," Pierre whispered, getting off the chair and sitting on Daniel's bed instead. He gingerly cupped Daniel's cheek to wipe Daniel's tears. "That's enough. Don't say anything else."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm so sorry, Pierre. I let you down. I really, really did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey." Pierre smiled. "You're here now, yeah? You're right here. Right in front of me, in the flesh. You didn't go. You didn't have to leave. That's all that matters to me. Nothing else. I promise."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you...did you talk to Michael?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just his name on Daniel’s lips made Daniel want to cry again, or throw up, or both. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His heart just hurt so much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre nodded. “You have to listen to what he has to say, Dan,” he said. “He has so many things to explain to you. Even if you can never forgive him, or forget what he’s done – if you listen to him, you’ll understand it much better. The whole timeline, what happened when, what he did and why it happened, you’ll just see it. For some closure, you know? If not for anything else, just for closure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t even bring myself to look at him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. We were all mad at him, too. But he seemed to accept it. He didn’t fight back, like he was already mad enough at himself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't pity him that way, Pierre."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, no, it was...this whole thing just caught us by surprise. George especially. We were all – Dan. Please don't think we didn't try to defend you. We really, really did. Even Lando was angry. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Lando. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I've never seen Lando angry. The four of us, we could've taken him to the ground and beaten him to death with how furious we all were."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you still listened to him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I just think...I think that you should remember that we wouldn’t all be here if he didn’t really have feelings for you,” Pierre said softly. “If Michael didn’t love you, he wouldn’t have tried to back out of it with Stroll, and Stroll wouldn’t have come after you. Michael could’ve just continued being with you and feeding information to Stroll and none of us would ever know. But he didn’t. You’re here now because Michael fell in love with you for real, and he didn’t want to continue betraying you. And he tried to leave Stroll even though he knew it would hurt him. He did it for you. Whether you ever trust him again, that’s up to you. But if Michael didn’t love you, we wouldn’t be in this situation. That’s all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pierre,” Daniel whispered. “I loved him so much, Pierre. I loved him so, so much. I’ve never loved anybody like I loved him. It hurts so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. Hey. C’mon.” Pierre squeezed his way further into Daniel’s bed, gently shoving Daniel so he had space on the pillow, then pulling Daniel into his arms. Daniel pressed himself comfortably into Pierre’s warm shoulder. “I know he loves you very much, too. It doesn’t seem that way. But he does.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see it every time he looks at you. He wouldn’t keep trying to get to you if he didn’t love you the way he does. He would’ve just given up and left forever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pierre.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre hugged Daniel more tightly. “You don’t have to believe me, Dan. I know I’m not one for feelings. I know that makes it hard for anyone to believe me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pierre, I just…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you love him, still. I know you wouldn’t have taken a bullet for him otherwise. And I don't blame you for loving him. We were all fooled together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel swallowed hard, but couldn’t contain his sob. “Why aren’t you angry with me?” he asked Pierre. “You should be so angry with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not angry with you. I was so angry with Michael," Pierre said, his voice gaining traction, the way it had when he was telling Daniel about Alex and George. "I was – Dan. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to stab him in the fucking face. And I would've done it if Lando hadn't held me back. I would've killed him for what he did to you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Pierre," Daniel sobbed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You know what Lando said to me?" There was a little laugh in Pierre's voice. "He told me you sacrificed your life for Michael. You took a bullet for Michael. If I went to kill Michael, you would've taken a bullet for nothing. Then he brought me to the boxing gym and we broke one of their punching bags."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel gave a little chuckle at that. He'd missed his friends so much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm just…" Pierre swallowed what sounded like tears. "Everything's over now. And I'm glad everything's over, but I'm just completely overwhelmed by it. And I don't think I'll ever stop being mad at Michael, but now I understand what he's been through, and I know he's done a lot of fucking shit but towards the end, everything he did was for you. Only for you. I just...I think you should hear him out."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you speaking for him so much? I'm just...really, really mad at him. And I don't know why you're so calm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just that we’ve gotten the closure from speaking to him.” Pierre’s voice was soft again. “Maybe if you listen to him, you might feel the same. Not that you won’t be angry with him anymore, because I still am. I always will be. But just...the feeling that you don’t really want or have to care anymore, you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel nodded. “Yeah. I just...I don’t know how to find the strength. And I don’t know how you found the strength to take that responsibility for me, to hear him out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I…” Pierre sighed. “It’s sort of my fault, too, you know? I was the one who dragged you to the gym. If you hadn’t gone with me, you would never have met him. If he'd never gone through to me as his target, but you were never there, then this would never have happened.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not your fault. I was thinking with my dick and not my head, like you said.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s all over now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Even if he loves me – even if he does, it doesn’t change the fact that he used to do all of those things, you know?” Daniel whispered. “It doesn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Pierre said. “Just...think of what’s more important to you. Everything’s all over now, and we all got out unscathed. So the past doesn’t matter to us now, because we got through it. What matters now is whether you can learn to trust him again. Because I think...I know I’m not usually good at this stuff, but the love you two have is worth more based on the future than the past.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel sighed. He closed his eyes, suddenly exhausted. “Pierre, you’re the best.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre pressed Daniel more tightly into his chest. “You’re my favourite, Danny. I won’t let anything else happen to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel smiled. He knew it was hard on Pierre, as well. He’d never seen Pierre this way. “You’re my absolute favourite, Pear bear.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you feeling okay? Are you hungry?” Pierre passed Daniel his smoothie again. “What do you want to do? Let’s just watch some funny videos so we can laugh, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel did manage to laugh that afternoon, for the first time in days. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And for the first time in days – Daniel actually dared to believe everything would be okay. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Daniel felt his shoulder getting better as the days passed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could move it more, for one, and he started going to light physiotherapy sessions during the last week of his stay in the hospital. The back of his shoulder had stopped swelling in the night, so he could sleep with his bed a little more horizontal. He could lift his arm a little bit, though he still couldn’t pick up things very well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael didn’t come back for a couple of weeks, and the nightmares went away in his absence. No one needed to sit by Daniel’s side in the night any longer, but they still made sure one of them came down in the day to bring Daniel some food or watch a movie with him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The nights were quiet, and sometimes Daniel still wasn't used to waking up to an empty room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One night, the room wasn't empty. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The light from outside filtered through the half-closed blinds, bathing the room in a faint grey. Daniel’s hand was in someone’s gentle grasp, and equally gentle fingers were running in his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael’s eyes were glittering in whatever light they received. His fingers were softly clasped around Daniel’s, and his hand brushed Daniel’s cheek as he removed it, like he was afraid Daniel would be averse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel wondered if he was real, or if this was just another of his nightmares. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael took his lack of response as permission, and his hand landed on Daniel's face again, his thumb tracing Daniel's cheekbone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was Daniel's first time seeing him in weeks, his first time seeing him since that day after the shooting when he woke up with Michael by his bedside, his first time looking Michael in the eye since they were in that cold grey room – and he just </span>
  <em>
    <span>couldn't look away. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael was just…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was so indescribably beautiful. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes shimmered with what looked like tears as his gaze wandered Daniel’s face, then squeezed themselves shut as those tears rolled down his cheeks. Daniel let go of his hand to wipe Michael’s tears away with his palm, the skin of his hand tingling with the touch. Michael’s smile was. It was small and scared but it showed in the way his eyes crinkled at the corners, and the way he leaned into Daniel’s touch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If this was a nightmare, then…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel wished all his nightmares were like this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael’s hand landed in Daniel’s hair again, in the way Michael usually liked. His touch was as soothing as Daniel remembered, and Daniel turned his head away so Michael wouldn’t see him crying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael only moved closer, both his palms on Daniel’s cheeks to wipe his tears, so he was cradling Daniel’s head in his hands. He shuddered a little with his own crying, a soft gasp leaving his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel could still only lift one hand, so he traced Michael’s features with it, his fingers lingering on each contour. Michael’s intricate hairline. His shallow brow bones. Over his closed eyelids. The ridge of his cheekbones, and the bridge of his nose. The little mark on his cheek that Daniel was obsessed over. The bags under his eyes. His jaw, and the way it clenched when Daniel’s fingers brushed over. His lower lip, shivering as Daniel ran his thumb over it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If this was the last time Daniel would ever touch him, he wanted to remember every detail.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He still saw in Michael’s eyes the same pain that dealt him blows in the chest every day, and he still hated that things had ended up this way between them, but.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In that moment, in that little moment they shared on that quiet night, neither of them saying a word but still telling each other everything they felt – Daniel felt the first semblance of peace he had felt in weeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael smiled at him again, a weak smile, like he was trying to tell Daniel he felt the same.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel had never wanted someone as close to him as he wanted to push them away, the way he felt about Michael. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wondered how many nights Michael had been here, watching him and holding his hand, and he just hadn’t known.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael lifted himself off the chair and leaned forward slowly, hesitantly, knowing that Daniel could still push him away at any moment. His face seemed to hover close to Daniel’s for an eternity, and Daniel closed his eyes, finding himself keening upwards towards Michael in earnest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael’s lips were soft as they imprinted on Daniel’s forehead, lingering for the longest time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pressed his head against Daniel’s, the warmth from his sobs encasing Daniel’s cheeks. A tear fell on Daniel’s nose, and Michael gently wiped it away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then his hand returned to Daniel’s, intertwining their fingers like it was just a regular day and they were regular boyfriends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel couldn’t open his eyes again without crumbling into pieces, so he let himself drift back asleep with Michael’s soothing hands holding on to his and helping him wipe his tears off his cheeks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Daniel was allowed to leave the hospital a week later. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lando came to help him with the paperwork and to take him home, and he seemed particularly excited about it, hovering around Daniel like a bug. He helped Daniel with his shower and slowly into a button-up shirt, which was the only thing he could get his arm into. He helped Daniel with his jeans and his sling, then carried the little backpack of remaining things as they left the hospital. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead of going straight home, he brought Daniel out, first to a diner for a big lunch, then to the park for ice cream. It was right in the middle of summer, so there were many people milling around, and the ice cream was a nice treat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sun was setting a little later than in the spring, so Daniel didn’t question why Lando took him on a bus towards the outskirts of the city. He just sat looking out the window as Lando rambled away about something. It was nice to enjoy an entire day outside after being confined to his tiny hospital room for almost a month.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bus took them to the terminal station right on the cusp of city limits, beyond the train station. They got off next to the main bridge going out of Rosehurst, and its pillars loomed high above them as they walked towards the gravel lot right next to the structure, overlooking the river rushing past.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were two cars parked near the edge of the lot, closest to the water. Daniel could see four distinct figures leaning on the cars, two on each front hood.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre and Alex were sitting on the hood of one of Andromeda’s shared cars, a dark green Honda Accord, speaking quietly; a puff of smoke decorated the air above them from Alex’s cigarette.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the front hood of the familiar grey Clio that belonged to Michael – was Michael himself, having his own discussion with George.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lando.” Daniel was just...suddenly so tired. He’d been walking around the whole day and he just wanted to go to sleep and although he was grateful to Lando for being by his side through it all, he just…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Lando whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone turned as Lando and Daniel approached from behind, although Michael was quick to avert his gaze. They all stood up except for him, and filtered past Daniel, Pierre the only one to give Daniel’s hair an endearing ruffle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll be right here,” he told Daniel. “Right here. Promise. We won’t let you out of our sight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The crunch their footsteps made in the gravel faded as they got further. Daniel took a deep breath as he walked as slowly as he could towards Michael and sat on the hood next to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was wearing a black t-shirt under an open dark green flannel shirt with the sleeves left unrolled. He looked...just as stunning as Daniel remembered him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just being so close to Michael sent a throbbing heat throughout Daniel’s body, and a stabbing feeling in his heart. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sat completely silently, listening as the river flowed in front of them and rattled the bits of gravel on the shore. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then Michael said, in the smallest voice, “Daniel.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel sighed. He waved his good arm in front of them. “Just...start from the beginning.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was Michael’s turn to take a deep breath. He knew – Daniel could tell that he knew this was his only chance. His last chance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I worked for Lawrence. For Stroll Industries.” His voice was soft, but it slowly became steadier. “Just a regular office guy. Almost made it to management. But I think he caught on that I was into fitness. So he groomed me and paid for me to go to the police academy. I graduated three years ago, then he put me in the police department as a mole. It was mostly for his underground business, to make sure he didn't get caught. But then I met George, and I became his desk partner.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why'd you agree to do all of it?" Daniel asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He paid me very well."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A longer pause this time as Daniel waited for him to continue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lawrence got me involved in Max's case because I was close to George. He thought it’d be easy for me to get information. That’s when Esteban got involved, that’s when I met him. I’m not part of his gang. I’ve never been. I’m just one of Lawrence’s men hired to do Esteban’s dirty shit. Near the end of last year, when George got in touch with Alex and found out that Charles had left, he mentioned Alex to me – well, I asked him for Alex’s name. I don’t think he caught on about it. I gave the name to Lawrence and Esteban, and Esteban knew quite a bit about Andromeda so we decided that I’d be a personal trainer at the gym and make Pierre our target. For me to get close to him. But that...that didn’t work out. You know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you know that George had joined Andromeda?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael shook his head. “I’d never have taken up this job if I’d known. Esteban and Lawrence wouldn’t have had me do it, either. None of us knew. It made it so much harder that George was around.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you still stuck around.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I…” Michael shrugged. He turned and gave Daniel a long, meaningful look. Daniel couldn’t find it in himself to meet his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He cleared his throat. His arm was beginning to get sore, so he pulled his legs up onto the car hood, hugging them to himself and resting his elbow on them. “So...so what do people call you? Michael, or Milos?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was born as Michael Italiano. My parents died when I was a kid and I got shipped over here as a refugee with a new name. But I like using my birth name. I’m only Milos Katopodis in official records.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s Greek, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I’m half Greek.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel recalled thinking about how Michael looked like a Greek god, and he couldn’t help but laugh at the irony.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is ridiculous,” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You – I – yeah.” Michael sighed. “I’m…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They couldn’t see the sun from where they were, but the sky turned a fiery red as it set. Michael crossed his ankles, his hands clasped in front of him. Dust from the gravel decorated the bottoms of his jeans, and the edges of his flannel shirt flapped softly in the wind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When did it start?” Daniel was afraid Michael wouldn’t hear him over the sound of the river. He waved his arm again, this time in the space between them. “With us?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I…” Michael’s voice shook. “Dan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just tell me the truth, okay?” Daniel whispered. “I just want to know the truth.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was after we’d been together a few times. I…” Michael sighed, like he didn’t know how to continue talking about his feelings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was our date real?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael nodded, though he hung his head. “I’d wanted to ask you out, but...I couldn’t sell the idea to Lawrence and Esteban. I think they caught on that I might’ve wanted a real date with you, and not just a pretend one. They didn’t think it was a good idea. So I did it without telling them. And I was going – after our date, when I realised exactly how real it was going to be, I started trying to distance myself from them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you’d sold it to them – if you had, then you’d just...you’d just be dating me for the purpose of getting information out of me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was before I realised we could be something real. Before I started to really fall in love with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel squeezed his eyes shut. He didn’t want to believe Michael. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>But something just told him not to walk away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re just so...you're so beautiful, and you cared for me so much, and you loved me, and you just made me so happy whenever you were around,” Michael whispered. “I fell so hard for you, Dan. So, so hard. Before we even went on that date. I never looked back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel swallowed his sob. “Just...just continue.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael’s sniffle was soft, but Daniel heard it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I began to pull away from the job when we started dating, and afterwards,” he continued. “I didn’t want to give them any more information. I thought that if I kept having nothing to give them, they would eventually drop this project, and I could quit. But they –” Michael seemed to choke on his words. “They tailed me. They followed me and they saw me out with you. Lawrence called me up and told me he knew what I was getting at. And that if I didn’t have any information for him by the end of the month, he would try to hurt you. And I couldn’t let that happen, Dan. I couldn’t let it happen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you told them about the safe?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t want to.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean you didn’t want to?” Daniel tried not to let his anger show too much through his voice. “You asked me. You literally asked me about the plan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hadn’t – I hadn't known that Esteban had done that car heist. When I’d asked you if Andromeda did it, and you told me you knew they hadn’t because you were a part of Andromeda...” Michael sobbed. “Daniel. I know it doesn’t make any sense, but when I asked about Andromeda and your plans, I didn’t want you to tell me. I just kept thinking, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Daniel, shut up, shut up, shut up. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I didn’t deserve your trust, Daniel. Not even a single sliver of it. I knew if I found out about your plans, then I had no choice but to tell Lawrence. Just so he would delay coming for you. Just so he would come for me instead. And he did come for me. The safe wasn’t enough for him. He threatened my life in exchange for yours a few times. And I always...I always agreed. It seemed to piss him off even more. But I always agreed to give my life for yours. I know you didn’t notice, but he sent his men to beat me up once, as a warning of what they could do with my life. There were bruises all over my back and my ribs. I couldn’t let you see them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel remembered when Michael refused to be shirtless in front of him for a whole week, and he'd only thought Michael was deliberately being a big tease and he’d made fun of it, but...it all made sense now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When I saw how upset you were about the safe – it killed me, Dan. I...I just couldn't do it anymore. So after the safe was when I started pulling away more. I changed the phone they contacted me on, but they still found me. So I didn’t answer. Week after week, that phone was left alone. That was when…” Michael gulped. “When I started avoiding everything and staying in bed. Because whenever I got out of bed, I’d have to face Lawrence, and I’d have to face the fact that I couldn’t escape him and I had to keep hurting you in order to protect you. I – I lost it. I just completely lost it, but I would rather lose myself than lose you. I thought of leaving, I thought so many times of just leaving this place, of leaving you and leaving everything all behind, but – I couldn’t. I couldn’t leave you. I just...Daniel. You have to know, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>have to know </span>
  </em>
  <span>how much I love you. How badly I wanted out of it. I just had no other choice. I tried so hard. Daniel. I’m not saying all of this because I want you to pity me. I just...just want to tell you the truth.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sound of Michael’s voice, so tired and weak but so determined to tell Daniel everything...it just made Daniel want to die.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I tried so hard, Dan. I know you don’t believe me. And I don’t blame you for that. But I tried so hard to protect you, and I still failed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.” Daniel managed a smile, despite it all. “You got me out of there, didn’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Michael turned, and this time Daniel dared to meet his eyes. “Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’d you do it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He was distracted by the fact he’d shot you instead of me. So I shot the gun out of his hand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You shot him in the hand?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael shook his head. “I shot the gun out of his hand and it fell out of his reach. The two guards came inside when they heard the gunshots, so I shot their guns out of their hands, too, and one of them in the leg. Then I took all their guns so they couldn't shoot us, and I called the ambulance.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You must be good with guns, then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m...I’m a sniper. At the police academy. I own a few guns.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel closed his eyes and turned his head upwards to meet the wind. He pulled his knees closer to his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know you at all, Michael,” he whispered. “I don’t know you. But I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael gave a soft chuckle. “Dan,” he said. “I’d never been in love before I met you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. Don’t do this. We can’t do this again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we start again?” Michael’s voice was so weak, so defeated, that Daniel almost missed it. “Can we just go back to the start, and do it all over?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know.” Daniel pushed his face into his knees, pulling his shoulder back so it would hurt less. “I really don’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not the person I was when I first met you,” Michael said softly. “I promise you. I know...I know you don’t trust me anymore. But I just…” he sighed. “Daniel, I...you made me want to be a whole different person. I fell so hard for you and I didn’t know what to do about it. And I just…I don’t know what to do about it. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sky was dark now, even the warmth of the sun having abandoned the two of them. The sound of the river was much louder, and Michael's feet fidgeted in the gravel under them. He didn’t say a word, like he’d run out of ways to explain himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel lifted his head. There were only a few streetlights in the area, but they illuminated Michael the same way Daniel remembered him from that night in his hospital room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked like a sculpture in an art museum, with his own spotlight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you out of it now?” Daniel asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael nodded, but. He looked sad. “Yeah. For good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Called a truce. I’d been taking some of the older cases involving Esteban and Lawrence and hiding them till they ran cold. And I kept all their men’s names out of the system whenever they came up. Sometimes I used this as leverage against them, when we negotiated terms for an operation. I couldn't use it for us this time because Lawrence threatened to have me thrown in jail for tampering with police records. It had always been a possibility for me as a mole, but Lawrence chose this time to pull this card. Since I wanted out of this job completely, they didn't want any risk that came with me holding their files, so they got me to erase all their cases and records and leave the police department. So I’ve lost all the leverage I have against him. He’ll have to find another mole, but for now, he’s safe, and I have nothing to hold against him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That doesn’t seem like a very good deal. Will he go back on the agreement and come for you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m under Andromeda’s protection. If Esteban comes for me, Andromeda will take out their best men in return. Your boss, Sergio? He met up with Lawrence and Esteban and me and we came up with this together. In return for my freedom. Me and Andromeda, we don’t tell on Esteban and Lawrence, and neither do they on us. We each go along with our own business. Forever. With me as the leverage between the two gangs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a lot of pressure, isn’t it? You’re holding it all together. You could start a war all by yourself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael smiled. “Mhm. I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s the catch?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can never leave Rosehurst.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel sighed. The knowledge that Michael was safe, and the fact that he would just always be here in this city...it brought an unfamiliar sense of longing, of relief, and yet at the same time the deepest heartache. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not part of Andromeda,” Michael continued softly. “It’s just an agreement. So...we won’t be seeing each other. Don’t worry about that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What does Andromeda get in return?” Daniel hadn’t been able to figure out how Andromeda benefited from this, except from the fact they were probably safe from Esteban snitching on them. He’d usually be the one making these decisions, but since he’d been knocked out, it had probably been left to Checo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing.” Michael looked down at the ground again, like he was afraid to meet Daniel’s eyes. “They just...they thought it was what you would’ve wanted.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>what Daniel would’ve wanted. Probably. Daniel’s mind was still foggy beyond belief. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But after all, Daniel had literally saved Michael's life. To have it then protected by Andromeda just seemed like the only way it could've turned out. Daniel understood why Checo and the others had come up with this decision.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre had been right, and Michael had tried to leave Lawrence even though it would hurt him – and he had also stayed loyally by Daniel’s side even though it caused Michael so much pain and so many problems. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had never once chosen the easy way out. He had never chosen to leave Daniel. He had never chosen to leave what they had.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had never chosen to abandon Daniel in the unrelenting jaws of Lawrence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As much as Michael had hurt him, Daniel still wanted him to be happy in his own way, and he wanted Michael to be safe, and be free like he wanted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So maybe if Andromeda could help out with that, then...Daniel didn’t see the problem.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just a regular personal trainer now, then?” he asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael sighed. “Yeah. Just a regular personal trainer at the gym. Back to where we started.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad that...that it’s all over for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What...what about us? Is it over? Is this the end?” Michael asked. “Is it the end for us?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, Michael.” Daniel really – he really, really just needed some time away from all this. “I think for now, it is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we try to start over?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Michael, I – I have to be away from you. I can’t give you an answer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael nodded. He swallowed hard as if it would give him enough courage, then he leaned over towards Daniel and wrapped him in a hug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel didn’t push him away. He just...physically couldn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Michael whispered directly into Daniel’s ear, his voice clouded by his tears. “I know it’s not enough. But I...I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel nodded. His tears made soft little plops on Michael’s shirt. “Yeah. I accept that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael continued holding Daniel for a while, his hand moving gently up Daniel’s back and settling in Daniel’s hair. He moved hesitantly, as if he wasn’t sure he was supposed to touch Daniel that way, but gratefully, as if he knew that would be the last time. His touch, and his scent – the scent of him, so welcoming and fresh and familiar, completely overwhelmed Daniel, and as much as he hated how it made him feel, he also wanted to let it bury him. He wanted to live in it forever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pushed his head into the crook of Michael's neck and pulled Michael closer with his arm, and he felt Michael get bolder, pressing himself more tightly against Daniel as Daniel moved his slinged arm out from between them and placed his hand on Michael's waist. Michael rested his chin on Daniel's shoulder and gave the softest sigh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel just wanted that moment to last forever. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every sound around them faded to nothing at all, and Daniel found himself grasping tightly onto Michael's shirt, wishing that he had the strength to let himself want Michael to stay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His tears were blurring his vision as they pulled apart from the hug, so he wiped them away with his good hand, only to see Michael doing the same to his own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodbye, Michael.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael’s jaw clenched slightly, but he managed the smallest, sweetest smile at Daniel, and Daniel knew in that moment that Michael had accepted their fate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pressed the softest kiss on Daniel’s temple and on the crown of his head before standing up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodbye, Daniel.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel got off the car as Michael stepped in it and turned the engine on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He watched as the rear lights made a turn around the gravel lot, then disappeared down the main street.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel could feel the doors of closure shut on him, he could almost hear the click of them as they closed, and he could feel a strange sense of calm and understanding fall on him like a blanket – but at the same time it felt like he was suffocating in the room those doors had locked him in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It felt as if Daniel’s breath had been snatched away together with Michael, and he fell to his knees on the ground, sobbing and clutching his chest, suddenly unable to inhale or see or say anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A pair of strong arms wrapped around him soon after, followed by another, and another, and Daniel found himself buried in all of Pierre, Alex, George, and Lando’s arms, buried in a mountain of unconditional love and concern.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love him so much,” Daniel sobbed. “So, so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We know,” Pierre whispered. “We know that. Give yourself some time, okay? Give yourself some time to heal. You’ll heal. We’ll be with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everything just hurts so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll get you home, yeah?” Lando tried pulling Daniel up by his good arm. “C’mon. We’ll go home, and we’ll get some Chinese takeout because Alex has been whining about it for three days, and we’ll have our own little party. Okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t been whining about it for three days,” Alex retorted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, how about we don’t have Chinese then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you promised Daniel. We have to get Chinese.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, it’s for </span>
  <em>
    <span>Daniel</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel listened to them squabble as Pierre helped him into the front passenger seat where there was more room for his arm. He knew they were only doing it to distract him, and it did make him smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>George stretched his arm over from the driver’s seat and gave Daniel’s hair a ruffle as Daniel leaned his head on the window. They pulled out of the gravel lot and took the half-hour drive back into the center of the city to get Chinese food, then gathered at Daniel’s apartment to eat it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel didn’t speak a word to any of them. He couldn’t find the energy to do anything except shovel food into his mouth. He crawled into bed that night with his eyes sore and dry from crying, but just...so fulfilled. So at peace with himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew it wouldn’t last, he knew he would wake up the next morning feeling miserable again, but just for the night, Daniel decided to cherish the feeling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lando had gotten him some extra pillows so he could still sleep sitting up halfway, so Daniel settled into them and closed his eyes with a sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door to his room opened a bit later, and through the sliver of light from the living room Daniel saw the fluffy-haired silhouette of Lando.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He climbed in next to Daniel without a word and tucked himself under Daniel’s shoulder. His hair tickled Daniel’s chin as he settled in, and it made Daniel smile again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you, buddy,” Lando whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel fell asleep with his oldest, closest friend in his arms, and after everything that he’d been through, after everything that Lando had been by his side for – Daniel had never felt so grateful.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Daniel’s apartment just...felt like a graveyard of his love for Michael.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It still smelled like Michael in some places, and Daniel wasn’t sure if it was just his mind playing tricks on him. Sometimes, when Daniel stood by the stove in the kitchen, he could still feel Michael’s presence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Between physiotherapy and Andromeda meetings which Daniel tried his best to drag out, he spent most of his time at Lando's apartment; he needed Lando's help in the shower, anyway. Pierre joined them sometimes, and they'd play a game on Lando's PlayStation, and sometimes working out his fingers on the game controller did help Daniel's arm heal a bit better over the next month and a half.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sometimes, Daniel saw things that reminded him of Michael right away, and he'd have this strong urge to call Michael and tell him about it, before realising that he couldn't. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Summer quickly gave way to fall, and leaves decorated the streets in all shades of orange and brown as Daniel and Lando walked through the city in search of their next adventure. It was already past ten at night, and past dinnertime for most people, but Daniel and Lando found themselves at their trusty old diner again, the table between them filled with their favourite side dishes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel had rarely been to the diner with Michael, so it was one of the only places he felt comfortable sitting in, but the colder weather did remind him of when he and Michael had first started going out, and it reminded him of the stash of Michael’s hoodies he still had hidden in his closet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed as they hit the streets again, the leaves rustling beneath their sneakers. Lando was hopping around, trying to find leaves that would crunch. Daniel just shuffled his way through them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lando,” he whispered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lando stopped hopping on and off the kerb and fell into step next to Daniel. “Hmm?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just want to walk by myself for a while,” Daniel told him. “It’s nothing. But I just wanna walk alone for a while.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll wait for you at home, okay?” Lando gave Daniel’s shoulder a squeeze. “At my place. You can come over anytime.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel shook his head. “I just…” He tried his hardest not to cry. “I just wanna be alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Lando whispered. “Yeah. Call me anytime. Love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel continued walking with his head down against the midnight wind. He pushed his hands further into the pockets of his sweatshirt. He was warm in his clothes, but...there was still a soft chill in his body that he never could find a way to get rid of. A chill that didn’t come from the healing bullet hole in the back of his shoulder, a chill that came from somewhere Daniel couldn’t point out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sidewalk in front of Michael’s apartment building still welcomed him like it did way back, when Daniel had first come here eight months ago. It still welcomed him like it did the last time Daniel was here, two or so months ago, right before he’d found out Michael had betrayed him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was where most of Daniel’s days had started, the place Daniel had considered just a few steps away from home, from Michael’s soft embrace and his comforting presence. It looked the same way it had when Daniel had first been here, but instead of shining with the first nights of spring, it was littered with big autumn leaves that glowed orange under the streetlights.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel had to summon all the strength in his body to stop himself from looking up at Michael’s window.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead, he sat down on the sidewalk facing the street, and cried.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew he had no right – </span>
  <em>
    <span>Michael </span>
  </em>
  <span>had no right to make him cry this way again after they’d said goodbye. After not seeing or speaking to each other for so long. After Michael had hurt him so thoroughly. Daniel shouldn’t have been thinking about it, he shouldn’t have been thinking about Michael and all the time they’d spent together and how much Daniel still loved him with his whole heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not after what Michael had done.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Daniel didn’t know what else to do, and he didn’t have the </span>
  <em>
    <span>strength</span>
  </em>
  <span> to do anything else, so he cried and cried, and he couldn’t imagine having any more tears, but he just couldn’t stop. He hugged his knees to himself for warmth, but he was shaking so hard, his shoulder started to hurt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was glad he’d chosen to come here at half past two in the morning, when Michael was probably already asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But every time footsteps sounded on the concrete behind Daniel, he found himself wishing that maybe it was Michael who had seen him from his window.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel sat there until the city began waking up again, at which point he finally stood up and caught the first bus home to his own apartment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took one of Michael’s hoodies from his closet and changed into it, then grabbed another one to curl up with in bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then he fell asleep still crying, but now feeling just that tinge more at peace with the fact that Michael still had this little bit of control over him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Daniel was so frequently at Lando’s apartment, everyone began acting as if he was actually living there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre came over once with a bag of food. Daniel had thought it was for Lando, but Pierre brought a Tupperware straight to Daniel with some utensils.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here, I got this for you,” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For me?” Daniel took it from him and inside the Tupperware was a fillet of salmon swimming in butter and garlic, and some broccoli florets on the side. “Where’d you get this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s a new place near the gym,” Pierre said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why is it in this fancy Tupperware? Did you bring it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m trying to save the earth, Dan. Stop asking questions and eat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel took a bite of it, and – </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It tasted exactly like the garlic and butter salmon that Michael used to make all the time because Daniel absolutely loved it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel started crying into it, and he didn’t dare let Pierre see he was doing that, but Pierre placed another bowl of fresh salad on the table next to the salmon and asked in the softest voice, “Do you like it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel nodded. He knew, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew </span>
  </em>
  <span>it was from Michael. It tasted exactly like Michael’s and there was no reason it would be in a Tupperware instead of a takeout box. Pierre had never been an environmental activist. Daniel turned to Pierre, and Pierre was gazing over at him with the fondest look on his face, like he could tell Daniel had figured it out.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>There’s a new place near the gym. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Sure. It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>Michael’s apartment.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Neither of them said a word. Neither of them wanted to admit they knew what the other person knew.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael probably hadn't wanted Daniel to know it was from him, anyway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel finished the salmon in less than fifteen minutes, then put everything down and leaned back in his chair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fish would be good for your shoulder,” Pierre said. Those were words that only Michael would </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever </span>
  </em>
  <span>utter, and it actually made Daniel smile that he’d told Pierre to say that. “Do you...would you like more of it next time?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel nodded again. He knew Pierre knew. Pierre knew that Daniel had figured out it was from Michael. So what he was really asking was if Daniel was okay with them being in contact. If he was okay with eating Michael’s food. If he was okay with Michael being in his life again, even if they never saw each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel had had a little less than three months to heal, and his shoulder might've been miles better but his heart hadn't yet fully healed, and despite that...he really couldn't imagine anything else filling the Michael-shaped void in his heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you still like it,” Pierre whispered, but then collected all the empty bowls and Tupperware and went to the kitchen to wash them before Daniel could respond. Daniel just sat and stared at the TV until Pierre returned with a glass of water. “Hey, Dan,” he said. “I’m so proud of you for being strong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel smiled. Maybe he could deal with this one day at a time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The food began coming more and more often. Most of the time it was Daniel’s favourite salmon, or some other type of fancy fish. Other times it was rice or chicken or eggplant lasagna which Lando would constantly eye until Daniel offered him some. Daniel usually ate from his Tupperware while the others ate from their takeout boxes. It made him feel a little special, being the only one Michael cooked for, even though Pierre still kept up with the act of saying he only bought it from that food place near the gym.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel really wanted nothing more than to be free of this relationship forever, but…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew that wouldn’t make him happy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel didn’t know what would make him happy any longer, but Michael was in Rosehurst for life, and having Michael out of his life forever certainly wasn’t going to be it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The kind of love Daniel felt for him, the kind Daniel would </span>
  <em>
    <span>always </span>
  </em>
  <span>feel for him...it just would never go away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel stopped by Lando’s apartment one day after his physiotherapy session only to find the other four already gathered there, sitting around the dining table with a spread of food and the same old Tupperware – except that the Tupperware was in front of Lando, and he was gobbling up whatever was inside it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daniel,” Pierre greeted him. “I got you the eggplant lasa – hey, where’d it go? It was right here.” Pierre looked around the table for a moment before realising the Tupperware was sitting in front of Lando, with his fork frozen in mid-air at being caught. “Lando! I said that was for Dan!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I only had a bite!” Lando said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel saw that only half of the lasagna remained, and it made him laugh. “It’s alright. You can have it, Lando.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you have it. Micha – Pierre got it for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel finished the lasagna, then had some of Lando’s food as well, because Lando felt bad for eating Daniel’s portion. The rest of them chattered away over the meal, but Daniel focused on his food. He didn’t remember clamming up this way before in gatherings like this. He wondered if the others noticed the same. But he really just never found enough energy in him to join the conversation any longer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He moved to the couch alone as the others bickered over something else random. There was an old movie on TV, and Daniel stared at it, not processing any of the scenes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alex and Pierre came to join him a while later, one on each side of him. Alex passed him a glass of juice, and Pierre started rubbing Daniel’s shoulder the way the doctor had advised him to do after every physiotherapy session. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” Alex asked. “You’ve been very quiet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can talk to us about anything, you know that, right?” Pierre’s palm was gentle over Daniel’s shoulder blade. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s his birthday soon,” Daniel whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A short pause, then Alex said, “Who?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The…” Daniel gestured towards Pierre. “The guy at the store. The food place.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre smiled. “Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Pierre." Daniel gulped down his nervousness. "Could you...when you drop by, could you tell him happy birthday from me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sure." Pierre's hands landed firmly on the back of Daniel's neck, kneading into his muscles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And tell him...tell him thank you. I really like his salmon."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll do that. Of course."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to tell him anything else?” Alex asked, gently nudging Daniel’s good shoulder with his own. “Maybe how you feel?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel shook his head. “He already knows,” he said softly, then lowered his voice to barely a whisper so they wouldn’t hear him. “I love him. He already knows.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neither of them reacted, even if they’d heard. They just hung around Daniel for a bit, then left him alone to take his nap on the couch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel really didn’t know what he’d be doing if Charles hadn’t asked him and Lando to join Andromeda the previous summer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sure, he wouldn’t have met Michael, and his life wouldn’t have been in such a mess, but…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Meeting Pierre and Alex and George made all of it worthwhile, and Daniel genuinely would have never felt so fulfilled if he’d never met them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel fell asleep and dreamt of having an eggplant lasagna picnic in the spring with his friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the night of Michael's birthday, Pierre dropped by Daniel's apartment with the same Tupperware. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Inside was a single slice of strawberry shortcake, Daniel and Michael's favourite flavour of cake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The guy at the food place told me to save you a slice," Pierre said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel nodded. He took the cake and closed the door as Pierre left. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t like Michael at all to have a party for his birthday, and he didn’t have many close friends to do it for him, so Daniel assumed it was probably the four of them that had gotten Michael the cake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The thought of it made Daniel smile and his heart swell with warmth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He put on one of Michael's hoodies, sat in bed, and managed to hold in his tears until he'd finished the cake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Happy birthday," he whispered to no one. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel slept a dreamless sleep that night, one of the best he’d had since before he’d learned of Michael’s true identity.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Pierre.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre looked up from his steak bowl, which looked like the same one as Daniel’s and sat in a Tupperware of its own like it had been made by Michael, too. There was a drop of sauce hanging on the corner of his lips, which made Daniel smile. “Hmm?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was just the two of them hanging out at Daniel’s apartment with their specially-prepared meals, so Daniel felt comfortable asking, “Are you still mad at him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pierre shrugged. “I told you. I’ll never stop being mad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just...you’ve been helping him out. With the food for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can be mad at him and not be blind to how much he cares for you at the same time,” Pierre said. “I’m doing it for you. Not really for him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel looked back down at his food. Maybe Michael did still care. He was trying to make amends. Daniel could also be mad at him and not be blind to that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We get free food, Dan,” Pierre continued.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel laughed. “It’s just…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can be mad at him for what he did but that doesn’t erase the fact that he’s changed now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But what does it mean? What does it all mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll have to figure that one out yourself, Danny.” Pierre jabbed his fork into the pile of meat. “You were willing to sacrifice your life for him immediately after finding out the truth, that he’d been lying to you and hurting you. What does that mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel had no answer to that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We move past the anger, Dan,” Pierre said softly. “It might always be there, but sometimes other feelings mean more. Sometimes we just accept it the way it is. It’s all in the past, anyway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He guessed it was just something he had to accept, too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The holiday season had always been Daniel’s favourite time of the year. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It never snowed in Rosehurst, but the weather would be nice, and Daniel loved going to the Christmas market with Lando and just eating snacks for the entire night. Then he would help Lando find the perfect snow globe to add to his collection, and they would sit by the roadside and drink a couple of beers and talk until the sun rose again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Since Max had left and there were only the two of them, they’d stopped doing their traditional gift exchange, but they still got gifts for each other and tried to guess the gift before opening it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That year, Daniel got Lando a cute orange beanie with two pom poms at the top like little ears because he thought Lando would look cute in it, and Lando got him a disposable film camera because Daniel had mentioned in passing he was interested in retro photography.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andromeda had two parties, one for Christmas and the other for New Year’s. Before everything, Daniel would’ve loved being the center of attention at those parties. He had been the previous year, his first year in Andromeda; he’d had such a blast he’d practically blacked out for a week. But things felt different now. Besides, Daniel wasn’t too keen on being shoved around the dancefloor with a half-functioning shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So on the night of Christmas Eve, he and Lando hung out by the bar for a while, then escaped to visit the Christmas market for the second time that season. They got warm ginger ales and Daniel managed to get a photo of Lando in his new beanie sipping from his cup, with colourful Christmas lights all around him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel just loved the sense of family this season gave him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daniel,” Lando said as they started walking towards the bus station to get to Lando's apartment. “Do you think next year will be better for us?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course, buddy."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But especially for you," Lando said softly. "I want it to be better for you. I want you to throw everything behind and be happy."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel nodded. He tried focusing his gaze on the Christmas lights that lazily adorned the trees on the way to the bus station, but found tears blurring his vision. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had been looking forward so much to spending his favourite season of the year with Michael. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They'd met after the year had turned, so they hadn't gotten the chance the previous year. Daniel knew Michael didn’t have a lot of friends, so he had been so excited to take Michael to the Christmas market and get him to eat junk food and buy him gifts. He had been so excited to bug Michael into getting a Christmas tree for his apartment and decorating it together with him, and so excited to see how Michael's face would glow under the colourful lights. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn't that Daniel didn't love being with his closest friends. It was just...different. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you think it's wrong that I still miss him?" he asked Lando. "Is it sick that I still love him after what he did to me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lando shook his head. "You love him for the person he tried to be for you. Not the person he was forced to be before."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel sighed, and his breath appeared as a white fog in front of his face. He pushed his fists into the front pocket of his yellow hoodie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you want to be alone?" Lando asked softly. "I can leave you alone."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No." Daniel hooked his arm in Lando's. "I wanna be with my best friend in the whole world."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay." Lando chuckled delightedly. "We can get the bus here. Or do you want to go anywhere else?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel gave it a thought. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Will you go somewhere with me?" he asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Anywhere, Dan. I have nothing else to do."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So they went back to the Christmas market, where Daniel got a new navy blue hoodie, a pair of sunglasses for hiking trips, and some earplugs for the shooting range. He got them all wrapped up in some pretty red and yellow wrapping paper, then brought Lando a few streets down to Michael’s apartment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell him Merry Christmas.” Daniel passed the package to Lando. “And...and Happy New Year. And thank you for – for everything he’s done these few months. I hope...that he’s doing okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lando smiled. “‘Course. Do you want me to say it’s from you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you want to.” Daniel shrugged. “I...I’ll wait downstairs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lando went upstairs to Michael’s apartment and Daniel sat down on the kerb again, surrounded on all sides by soggy brown leaves. He hugged his legs to himself and tried his hardest not to cry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lando came back down about half an hour later, his breath smelling like one of Michael’s weird flower teas. Daniel turned to him as he sat down and offered Daniel a small thermos. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lavender,” he said softly. “He says it’s your favourite.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel took it, his hands shaking. He untwisted the cap, and the familiar scent of lavender tea infiltrated his nostrils and it reminded him of warm evenings in Michael’s arms and stealing clothes from his closet and waking up in the middle of the night buried in his scent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He curled his fingers so tightly around the thermos that they turned white. He put the cap back on and hugged the thermos to his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He says thank you,” Lando whispered. “And that he hopes you’re doing okay, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel closed his eyes and let Lando wrap him up in his arms. He felt his shoulders start shaking with sobs, despite how hard he was trying to keep them in. “Lando,” he sobbed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay.” Lando squeezed him tight. “It’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel just let Lando hold him for a while. He just...maybe he would just let himself be vulnerable again, just for a few minutes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lando rocked him gently, and he started telling Daniel about all the things they were going to do together the next year, the adventures they were going to go on and all the places they were going to visit. He told Daniel stories Daniel had already heard hundreds of times before, only to make Daniel stop crying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel just…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hated being this way. He hated hanging in the balance and feeling like his heart would never stop hurting. He knew he had to give himself more time, that he hadn’t yet had enough time to heal from the heartbreak, but at the same time it felt like giving himself time wasn’t the right thing to do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was something else. Daniel needed something else. There was somewhere else Daniel had gone wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lando eventually helped him up off the sidewalk. They spent the rest of the night wandering the emptying streets, Daniel sipping slowly from his thermos, wishing that this entire year, the year that had started three hundred and sixty days ago, had never happened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The new year loomed ahead of them, but Daniel...didn’t feel any more prepared for it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew it was only a date, only a date to mark the turn of a year and nothing else, and Daniel didn’t need to do anything to measure his worth with before December 31st.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But somehow, it just felt like Daniel was leaving something behind in the year that was going to pass. Something that he didn’t want to leave behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andromeda’s New Year’s Eve party started in the evening, where there was a buffet dinner for the entire gang at a bigger bar on the other side of town from their usual. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The five of them went down together, but despite the heaping plate of food in front of Daniel, he found his throat dry and his appetite missing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to go somewhere,” he told Lando. He wasn’t sure yet where. He just...needed to go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where?” Lando asked, but when Daniel didn’t answer, continued, “Do you want us to come with you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel shook his head. “I just...I have to do something. I’m sorry. Happy New Year, guys, I love all of you so much and I’m so happy I get to spend this time of year with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We love you too, Danny,” Pierre said. “Just give us a call if you need us, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel left, thinking maybe he’d figured out exactly what he needed to do before the year turned. For himself, if not for anyone else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bus was empty when he rode it back into the middle of town, with everyone outside at parties or snuggled up at home with their families waiting for the ball to drop. Daniel checked his watch, and it read just about eight in the evening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The familiarity of the sidewalk outside Michael’s building didn’t feel suffocating any longer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel stood bravely in the middle of it, breathing in deeply, letting the frozen air awaken him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This time, he dared to look up at Michael’s window. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The window lined an entire wall in Michael’s loft, so any light would show through it when turned on. That day, the curtains were drawn shut, and all the lights were off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel stood staring up at it for a while, wondering if he’d really just decided to come and see Michael voluntarily for the first time since everything had happened, only to have Michael </span>
  <em>
    <span>not be at home. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel couldn’t help but laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a moment, Daniel thought maybe Michael was out at a party. It was New Year’s Eve, after all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But something made Daniel turn and walk two traffic junctions away to the only place he knew for sure Michael would be at on New Year’s Eve at eight pm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He still had a membership at the gym, so he scanned his card at the entrance and went inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The entire gym was empty, just as Daniel had expected. No crazy person would be out here gymming at this time on New Year’s Eve.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No one except Michael.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was in his usual area, by the rowing machines and treadmills. He was packing his things into a duffel bag and wiping down the machines with a little rag. He moved a little more slowly than Daniel remembered, a little more sluggishly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was wearing basketball shorts and tights underneath that ran to his calves, and he was wearing the blue hoodie that Daniel had given him for Christmas, and he looked warm and cozy and beautiful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just the sight of him made Daniel realise exactly how much he had missed Michael. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite everything they’d gone through. Despite everything Michael had done. Despite everything Daniel had let him do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel did need time to heal. He’d had his time to heal. And he had never been fully able to heal. He had never even </span>
  <em>
    <span>started </span>
  </em>
  <span>to heal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because Pierre had been right. What he and Michael had, it lay in the future, and not the past. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course, Michael had done the most unfathomable things to hurt Daniel, and at the peak of his anger Daniel had thought he would never be able to forgive Michael, but – </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel was sure that Michael was a completely different man right now. He was sure that whatever Michael had told him, about his feelings, about spiralling, about not leaving this city forever because he loved Daniel, and whatever Pierre and Lando had tried to tell him – it was all true. And he was sure that he knew who Michael was, that Michael had become more and more of himself as he pulled away from Lawrence and towards Daniel near the end of their relationship. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was sure that none of the things that had happened in the past five months would have happened if Michael didn’t love Daniel as much as Daniel loved him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because he trusted Pierre, and Lando, and Alex, and George, and he knew that the four of them would </span>
  <em>
    <span>never </span>
  </em>
  <span>let each other keep in contact with Michael if they thought he was anything like he was before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew the four of them were only doing it because they knew how Michael and Daniel still felt about each other, even better than Daniel knew himself. Even more than Daniel had been willing to say aloud. They knew that neither of them really, truly was ready to let the other go. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They knew how even at the end, even as Michael and Daniel’s relationship was hanging on a thread, they were both still willing to die on behalf of each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Like Pierre said, sometimes other feelings meant more than the anger. They had all come to terms with that, and now it was Daniel’s turn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If closure felt as horrible, as shattering as it did, then – maybe Daniel didn't want closure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe the reason Daniel had never been able to heal even the slightest was because Daniel had always regretted not giving Michael a second chance. Not giving them both the chance to start over as strangers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had never really wanted to say goodbye. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So here they were, back at square one. Back at the exact same place they'd met, but this time unplanned. Turning their goodbye into another first meeting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael didn’t notice Daniel was there. He just continued about his business even as Daniel stepped closer. The scent of his deodorant spray almost took Daniel the fuck out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.” Daniel was shaking with the effort it took to steady his voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael froze at the sound of it. He put his rag down and slowly turned around, his eyes wide. “Hello,” he said, his voice soft as he visibly tried to stop his gaze from wandering all over Daniel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you...you’re a trainer here?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael’s gaze softened in relief as he realised what Daniel was getting at. “Yeah,” he said. “Are you looking for a plan?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I...I hurt my shoulder. A few months ago.” Daniel glanced down at his clammy hands before wiping them on his jeans. “I don’t have full mobility in it yet. Do you think you could maybe help me out with it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, we can figure something out.” Michael’s smile was just as warm and soft as Daniel remembered, and it shot arrows into Daniel’s heart the same way as before. He extended a hand into the space between them both. “I’m Michael.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel took his hand; it was firm but it clasped gently around Daniel’s, and it held Daniel’s in a way that felt like Michael was holding Daniel’s heart in his hand. When Daniel met Michael’s eyes again, they were crinkled at the corners, and it made Daniel’s heart burst to see Michael smile again after such a long time. He smiled back, and Michael’s smile broke into a grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m Daniel.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael let his hand go, and it fell back to Daniel’s side. He took out a pen and notepad from his duffel bag and sat down on one of the benches. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to get started?” he asked, gesturing to the space next to him. “We're just in time to make some fitness resolutions for the new year.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daniel sat down, and this time, being so close to Michael didn’t make him feel like he was being stabbed to death any longer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s get started, Michael.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
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